( IF I HAD BEEN THERE )

[elliot jordan casey.]

YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU POSSESS
a beauty calm and clear.

everything ellie had, she’d had to work for. she was never just given things; she had to work and save and eventually buy it herself. her parents had stopped buying her things just after her thirteenth birthday, telling her that she had to ‘learn the value of money’ and that it didn’t just grow on trees, which, of course, her then thirteen year old mind argued that it did, because it was paper, and paper was made from trees. she didn’t say this out loud; of course not. ellie never complained, never spoke up. if she had a problem, she’d just keep it to herself. she didn’t want to cause a hassle, didn’t want to cause unnecessary fuss. she’d had the same job since she was thirteen; waitressing in one of the -- admittedly -- lower end restaurants in chinatown, where the pay check felt as though it wouldn’t stretch far enough and as a result was hardly ever spent. she just saved it, saved it all, either for herself or for george; it didn’t matter. she needed the money and she had a job that paid adequately. she knew callum’s dads sent her cheques every week for george’s child support, but the amount they sent felt like he was paying for five kids, not just george. she couldn’t spend that much in a week even if she tried, even if she went to stores like alan bilzerian and just bought everything her eyes snagged on. she might buy it at the time, but two hours later when she was walking back to her car, laden with bags, she’d start to feel guilty and would then turn right back around and take everything back. apart from that, she didn’t like spending other people’s money. she didn’t like knowing that someone had used their money on her and that they were fine with it and expected nothing in return. ellie had always been iffy about it; she had to get everything herself. she didn’t need the help; she’d save up for it, and when she finally had the right amount of money, it’d feel much better when she actually bought it. or so she told herself. she’d love it if she just had so much money she could throw it around without even a second thought, but currently, that wasn’t possible. not unless she won the lottery.

she knew the stuff she had wasn’t the best around. she knew there were better quality things out there, but they were all way out of her price range. she stuck with the cheap stuff because she could afford it, and because she could wear it without being scared that she’d ruin it. plus, it’d last her longer too; the shirt she was wearing right now was proof of that. she’d bought it -- like cal said -- almost two years ago, and the only giveaway of the age was the colour. it had been red, now it was a faded pink colour, but ellie was unbelievably attached to everything she owned; she couldn’t throw anything away. she didn’t like things bought for her, but she wasn’t the type of girl to protest so much that they’d change their mind; she was too submissive. one word from them and she’d shut up and let them do what they want, regardless of whether she wanted it or not. she’d tried paying when she and cal were together, or at least contributing towards it, considering she couldn’t afford most of the things he bought. he’d bought her jewellery, most of which ellie stored in her jewellery box and never wore, mainly because she had nowhere to wear it, and if she did, her parents would more than likely ask her where she’d got it from. if she admitted that callum had bought it for her, she’d be forced to get rid of it, and then mr. casey would demand to see her closet and if there was anything in there that wasn’t something he or elliot herself had bought, she’d have to throw it out too. ellie was hiding a multitude of things in her closet; some things were for her, some were for george. she didn’t want her father finding them. cal was right about one thing concerning her dad; he was a douche.

a hand came up to fiddle with the locket at her neck nervously as she kept staring at cal, wondering if she should have just got in the car and not protested, not done something very unlike elliot casey and spoken up. she didn’t like her questions going unanswered. she never had. she blinked uneasily as a lop-sided smile appeared on cal’s face, already feeling herself reacting to it, knowing that whatever he was about to do, she was going to fall for it, and she was going to fall hard. she chewed at the inside of her lip, staring up at him, watching her reflection in his glasses. even to herself, she looked uneasy. her breathing sped up again as they stood there, unsure of what was going to happen, what he was going to say, what he was going to do. she whipped her hand away from her neck as he looked around, her wide eyes -- hopefully -- the only give away that she was on edge. her eyes flicked towards his hand, watching it slide off the door, and then snapped her gaze back to him as her name was said. that grin was doing things to her, making her want .. well. ahem. she couldn’t look at cal when he had that grin plastered on his face and not want him; it went against everything she was. she took a shaky breath in and let it out abruptly as he moved closer, trying again, trying to remember how to actually breathe. this wasn’t fair. he knew what he was doing, he knew. he knew that this was sending ellie completely all over the place, completely haywire. she swallowed dryly when he stopped in front of her, her hands curling into fists automatically. this wasn’t fair, it wasn’t! oh, dear god, she wanted him. where was he taking her? where? .. ellie lost all coherent thought as she spotted his lips coming towards hers, her eyes widening even more -- if that were possible -- giving her the look of a deer caught in the headlights. she shivered as she felt his hand on her neck, liking that he was touching her, loving that she hadn’t even had to do anything to get him to do this. he was still inching closer and closer, taking his sweet time about it, making ellie more and more impatient by the second. she wanted him, wanted, wanted, right now. this wasn’t fair, this-

she thought she let out something resembling a gasp of frustration and annoyance as her jaw was kissed, closing her eyes momentarily -- slightly enjoying it, despite the fact that it hadn’t been what she’d wanted -- before snapping them back open and glancing at cal, feeling herself go weak again at that smirk. she hated that he knew what that did to her. swallowing again, she looked down at the ground for a few seconds, and then -- without much hesitation -- attempted to gather herself together again and lowered herself into the car, closing her eyes when the door was closed and breathing deeply, attempting to sort herself out, trying to feel normal again. she buckled herself in quickly as the driver’s door was opened, and then stared out of the window for pretty much the entire journey. her heart was still racing like mad. it wasn’t until she started to recognise the route they were taking before she spoke up. “this .. why .. my house?

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[callum theodore rice]

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shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

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darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
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god, he loved that. she made it so easy for him. not that callum needed easy. if he'd never treated a girl poorly, a.k.a. called them a bitch or a dyke or mocked them in some other way, then typically fell for anything he said. what could he say? he just had that look hammered down. all he had to do was lower his voice a bit, mutter some things.... smile. christ, the smile. if anything else, the smile always worked. he couldn't quite understand why. he brushed his teeth more than any other human being in the state, he assumed. hell, when you smoked like he did and drank what he did making sure you smelt and looked good had to be your other top priority. not that he necessarily cared what other people thought about his scent. but his teeth... he loved his teeth. his dad's had paid good money for an embaressing set of braces way back when. so he might as well take care of them. not to mention they made the smile. so despite what he did he still had fairly white teeth. and always minty fresh breath. especially when seeing someone he knew he might get something out of. which... wasn't necessarily today, but he'd magically managed to not smoke or drink a thing since the night before. hell, you didn't want to go shopping when your judgement was impaired. not a good combination. that never ended well. so he normally made a point of be completley clean when he went on escapades such as these. and yes, i mean escapades. because he never quite knew where he'd end up after it all. whether it be at home in his closet, carefully color coordinating everything or sketching something new down, or in the back of his car in some random parking lot with some random girl feeding his need. either one. therefore: escapades.

like, for instance, right now. how he'd started off thinking he was just going to alan bilzerian and this other shoe shop down the way and ended up bumping into elliot, buying nothing for himself, purchasing her a dress and telling her he was taking her somewhere. how long had it been since he'd seen her? too long. how long since he'd touched her? too long. how long since he thought he cared? far, far too long. of course, he wasn't letting that slide. no no, he wouldnt' let himself believe that all of a sudden she'd popped up out of nowhere, he bought her something and BAM he cared again. no. he was just... repaying her. making her feel better. not to mention he wanted to see george. he was attached. he couldn't help it. despite how much his mind was screaming at him to ditch her, forget the kid, return the dress--though it would be interesting to keep in case he invited an equally sized girl over--and go smoke something. he wanted to see his kid. and... there was his dad's. ted and pierre. yes, this is true, they wanted to see thier grandson. despite how not related to him they actually were. they were... two gay men. that was how they worked. they wanted to shower the kid in gifts and play with him. and... they probably had secret agendas. they liked elliot. a lot. and during the end of thier so called relationship the two of them figured she was good for him. cal had changed. even if it were a bit. he was softer. nicer. albeit the change was minute. it happened nonetheless. they more than likely wanted to see the two together again. no matter if they had been truly together to begin with or not.

speaking of dads...
ok so callum wasn't the most polite of beings, but this was true. he needed to make a phone call. he couldn't just show up at home with a girl and a baby and declare a dinner party. though he so would. and they so would drop everything for the two of them. now if callum came home and proclaimed a dinner party with just him and his dad's they might look at him like he was drunk, afterwhich pierre would try to help him upstairs to a cold shower. but that was besides the point. he had a phone call to make. so after he watched her get into the car, a perfectly smug grin plastered on his face, he lightly shut the door and walked around the front pulling out his phone and dialing home. it rang once, twice, and by then he reached his door and pulled it open. finally a voice echoed from the opposite end of the line and cal retorted, "is dad home?

[/color]" silence ensued and he laughed, sliding into his seat. "ok, tell him we'll be over in a--[/color]" he waited a moment, sitting silently in his seat, eyes on the road ahead of him, "elliot and i,[/color]" he glanced over at her, smirking, and turned the vehicle on clearing his throat and laughing again, "shut up, just look nice. we're gonna make a quick stop first.[/color]" pierre's voice erupted from the other end and cal held the reciever away from his ear a bit, rolling his eyes. "ok, bye.[/color]" there. just like that. fathers were phoned and plans were made. now he just had to go get his son.

no callum had absolutely no intentions of letting elliot know where they were going, aside from what she could gather from that situation, or what they were doing. hell, she didn't even plan on telling her she would be going to get her son in a few moments. or that he planned on making her wear that dress tonight. or that she probably wouldn't actually be going home for a few hours. but he trusted she'd figure it all out. she normally did. this had been such a callum thing to do since the beginning of thier time together. he was sure there had been many a time that she'd lied to her parents just because he'd made some plans that interfered with something else. and she hardly ever denied him. ... if at all. no, come to think of it, he could hardly remember a time when she'd denied him at all. he'd practiced this, remember? she couldn't. not to mention her saying no to him would throw him so off kilter. and... not gonna lie, he'd probably end up being turned on. like a few moments previous. when she'd almost demanded he answer her question. when all he did was kiss her chin and give her no such answer. hah. christ, he loved how that worked.

the drive wasn't too long, at least he didn't think so. he'd made it so many times he could hardly tell that the time had passed at all. and before he knew it they were in front of her house. and she was speaking up... again. this time he wasn't surprised. when it came to matters between callum and her folks... things were a bit messy. more or less... he hated them and they hated him. long story short. he looked at her as he put the car in part just in front of her driveway and nodded his head in the direction of her house, "go get george.[/color]" that was all, nothing more. just go get george, and another brilliantly placed smirk plastered on his face.
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[/center]

tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one two four nine.
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes ilthem. and you. and omg. :3 <3

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU POSSESS
a beauty calm and clear.

"elliot and i- shut up, just look nice. we're gonna make a quick stop first."

so he was taking her to his house. would it really have been that hard to say? he didn’t have to be so mysterious all the time; a simple ‘we’re going to my place’ would have sufficed. though, it would have had to have been said in a way that would ensure ellie wouldn’t get the wrong idea. too many times had callum said something and elliot had just not understood. had got the wrong idea. she sat there and listened to him talking to his father, unsure of which one it was. she just stared out of the window, watching the road go past, only half listening to his conversation, losing interest in that as soon as it was over. was this where she was going to wear her dress? to his house? how long had it been since she’d been at his home, anyway? months. she wondered absently if all the stuff she’d left behind accidentally was still lying around his room, or if he’d shoved it in a box under his bed like she’d done to all of his belongings. nothing of his was in sight any more -- even if it was, her father would probably go into her room and take it down and burn it himself. the caseys and cal didn’t get along, at all, something which had always irritated elliot but she’d never said anything about it, never had the guts to stand up and tell them all to grow up and stop arguing. sitting so close to cal in his car was making elliot feel antsy. she didn’t belong in a car this flashy; she suddenly found herself longing for the comfort and reliability of her old volvo -- so it was second hand; it wasn’t like anyone cared. no one knew, anyway. except alice, seeing as her dad was the one who’d sold the car to mr. casey.

she wasn't totally sure why cal was taking her home, why he was risking her parents seeing him when it was blatantly obvious that they wanted nothing to do with him. they didn't even want him to see george, which was a bit unfair. you can't stop someone from seeing their own son. if cal wanted to see george, then ellie was going to let him, no questions asked. since when had ellie ever asked questions? she just got on with things, let people do what they wanted and never asked why they were doing it. she flicked her gaze to him as they continued crawling up the cul-de-sac where ellie lived. it wasn't one of the wealthier estates in boston -- her house wasn't even detached. but it it .. suitable. not bad. average. everything was always .. average. she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, hoping that she wasn't going to get seen, that her father wasn't currently poking through the net curtains like a nosy bastard again. he complained that mrs. jones at number fifty-three did that too much and spied on them. he was just a hypocrite. she glanced up nervously at her house, paranoid that she was being watched, convinced she saw the netting twitch in the front room. she looked back at him as he parked the car, still beyond confused, knowing it showed on her face but not bothering to hide it. why was he parking the car? it wasn't like he could come in -- her folks were home; they'd never let him up the pathway. she glanced back at the door of her house again, then turned back to cal and opened her mouth to speak, though snapped it shut abruptly -- and audibly -- when he said something to her.

"go get george."

that was it. nothing more than that. just those three syllables. why was she getting george? did he really expect her to be able to get out of the car, into her house, steal her son away from her mother and back into cal's absurdly flashy car without being asked any questions? ellie couldn't lie -- she hardly ever did it, so she wasn't too amazing at it. she just stared at him blankly, letting the smirk work on her, knowing that the longer she kept looking, the weaker her will became. she blinked, and stared for a few more seconds, hesitating, resisting, doing the exact opposite of what he'd said, before she snapped and her fingers started skittering around blindly for the door handle. she found it, and pulled, still staring at cal, still feeling her heart thump against her chest that she was surprised it wasn't visible, still breathing so god damn erratically that she felt dizzy. she blinked again, twice, three times, then tore her blue gaze away and scrambled out of the car -- and i do mean scrambled; she's not the most graceful person when she's flustered. she half walked, half ran up the pathway to her house, when she realised that she'd left her car door open. she skidded to a stop, and then ran back to the car, and pushed it closed, feeling her cheeks burn, praying that none of the kids were watching, or that mrs. jones wasn't spying on her. mrs. jones had a tendency to gossip; if she saw elliot casey getting out of a car that was nowhere near her price range, someone would end up hearing it, and it would eventually get back to her father, who would quiz her on whose car it had been. no, he probably wouldn't need to, as soon as he knew the make. anything expensive, he related to callum rice. it was why there was no way elliot would be able to keep her dress at home, or any of the clothes he'd said he'd buy her, which elliot still wanted to protest about.

digging in her pocket for her key, she inserted it into the lock and glanced around the hall, closing the door behind her -- not without one last glance over her shoulder at cal -- and listening for any signs of life. the tv had been switched back on, meaning her father was awake. elliot smiled -- more like a grimace -- to herself. that meant sneaking out was going to be fun. "mom?" she asked, dropping her keys on the table near the door and peeking into the living room. she caught the eyes of her father, and -- without even looking at her -- he indicated that she was in the kitchen. she hated that cal was right about her edward casey -- that he was a douche. elliot just wouldn't admit that in front of anyone. she made her way to the kitchen and folded her arms across the middle as she spotted her mother sat at the kitchen table, brow furrowed and pen in hand. "is .. george upstairs?" she asked, knowing that her mother hated to be disturbed when she was doing her work. where else would he be? she retorted sarcastically. ellie pressed her lips together and tore her eyes away from the paperwork, and glanced up the stairs. why? her mother's suspicious question demanded she look at her again, and -- trying her hardest not to look like she was lying -- elliot lied to her. ".. alice .. asked me and george to go out with her family .. for .. dinner. i said yes." jordan casey's eyes narrowed in suspiscion, but if she didn't believe her youngest daughter, she didn't say anything. would have been nice if you'd asked me, she muttered petulantly, but ellie was already making her way up the stairs, already trying to hide the fact that she'd just blatantly lied to her mother, the only parent who actually cared about her any more. the usual smile that crept up onto her face when she was about to see george worked it's way though the worry, and she unfolded her arms to pick her son up ( :3 ). glancing around, she grabbed his bag and made her way back downstairs, shoving her keys into the bag and muttering something to her mother about calling her just before they were about to leave.

she managed to open the door to the car with some difficulty, but eventually sat down and placed the bag at her feet, holding george and feeling so incredibly awkward. she didn't even know what to say now. she pulled a breath in, intent on saying the first thing in her head, when everything reasonable in her head vanished and left her with nothing. she was fucked.

[callum theodore rice]

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shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

[/size]
darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
-----------------------------------------------------------

callum typically tried to stray away from ordeals that had anything to do with parents. since the beginning of his little escapades parents were the devil. all he wanted to get at was thier daughter, of course, so what would be the point of them getting involved. parents only slowed things down. typically, he found, girls felt this insane need to be good when their parents knew about the boy. seeing as how parents had this ridiculous ability to make kids feel younger, immature and ignorant. so never, ever, had callum invited a girl over to meet his dad's--big fucking no--nor allowed himself to be invited over to meet a girls parents. because that deterred things. and when all he wanted to do was get in someone's pants once... or twice... then what was thepoint in even meeting the parents? when all he'd do was do the deed once... or twice... and avoid the girl from then on. hell, callum had even been known to lie about his phone number. no way in hell he was going to have a million different, supposedly 'love sick' girls pining after him via the only phone he had. that would be like torture. no, the only girl he'd ever really given his number was ellie. and that was because he... well, he actually attempted being her boyfriend. and then there was taht whole ordeal with the baby. and... well, all that other stuff that was a bit too complicated to talk about now but yeah, there were a grand deal of factors stopping him from giving her the typical fake number. and it wasn't like she called him too much either. of course, that was because callum typically called her or texted her. but at least she wasn't annoying. at least his phone wasn't ringing contionuously with ms. casey's name on the screen. that had to be one of the things he loved most about her. she wasn't annoying. at all.

ok, so there had actually been two occasions where parents were involved. callum's first date, after which he'd decidedly figured out a way to get the girl to meet him elsewhere every time afterwards, which was a horrendous pain in the ass. he'd gone to the girls house to pick her up. she had run out to the car with a brilliant smile on her face--she was excited, could you blame her?--in her nice tight pink dress--cal got way too much out of that sight--and stopped at the door, leaning in and kissing his cheek. right, cause cal moved his head to the side at the last second. he didn't kiss girls in front of thier parents, that wasn't exciting for him... at all. and yes, her parents had been waiting in the doorway... watching them. after being a tad been disappointed she put that smile back on her face and giggled--yes giggled, ugh--claiming her parents wanted to meet him. after much pondering--about three seconds--and a rolling of the eyes callum had followed her inside only to sit by her side on a couch that was too small and answer pointless questions about who he was, where they were going, what they were going to do and how he felt about their daughter for hours on end. needless to say, that wasn't a fun night. nor eventful. the little ordeal with the parents easily ruined his mood. they'd gone out for a movie afterwards and he took her straight home, given her his fake number and drove on off to his house and gone through about a weeks worth of weed. yeah. he was disappointed. and that taught him a valuable lesson. never in hell do you accept an offer to meet the parents. one of cal's many lessons in girl 101.

the second set of parents callum rice had met were elliot's. that's right. which was the exact reason he was decidedly staying in the car right now. it was no fucking secret that elliot's parents hated cal's guts. and, honestly, if he were her father he'd hate himself as well. yeah, cal had gotten the samllest taste of parenthood. he at least knew what it was like to have a child that existed. and if anything happened to george he knew he'd go apeshit on whoever's ass it had been that caused it. but come on... callum? he wasn't going to do anything to elliot. ever. well... ok, not anything bad. not anything that would get her killed. what was wrong with a little... ok, he could see where her parents were coming from. but callum wasn't going to get her killed, ok? he wasn't that kind of guy. he hated even smelling like any of the top three--alcohol, cigarette smoke and weed--around her much less the idea of her doing any of that. in fact, ellie's innocence was one of the bigger things he loved about her. honestly. he fucking loved it. he couldn't get enough of it. if that stutter went away he wouldn't know what to do. if the instinctual widening of her eyes or racing of her heartbeat stopped occuring everytime he got closer he didn't know what he'd be able to make of it. that was just ellie. the way he loved liked her. perfect in her innocence. what... the hell was he thinking about? oh right. the parents. yes, it was safe to say that they hated him. honestly. so seeing his face in thier house would induce some sort of traumatic loss of an appendage on callum's part no doubt. and since he was fairly certain he loved all of his appendage's he was ok just sitting in his car as she did as she was told--god he loved that--and went to get thier son.

she came out eventually, and not gonna lie, he was quite surprised that she made it. he half expected her mom and dad to interrogate her to the extent that she caved and got sent to her room. callum would not stand for that.. just saying. well, of course, after that point her father might come out of the house welding a shot gun aimed directly at him, in which case cal would be down the street and around the corner in a heartbeat. callum didn't take a lot of shit, sure, but a gun? who the hell was dum enough to think they could stand up to a gun? he wasn't stupid. guns meant death or injury and callum wasn't a big fan of either. when she had finally gotten herself into the car cal carefully glanced up at her then allowed his gaze to shift down to his son. yeah, his son. god, was that a phrase he'd love to say out loud. yeah, he probably should get away from that house as fast as possible but he felt a bit numb right now. as discussed earlier. and he wasn't fair. that this little thing with tiny fingers and tiny toes and a little scrunched up baby face could do that to callum. but he did. almost instinctually his hand reached out to touch him but something in the back of his mind screamed at him for even attempting and he drew it back, trying to play it off and scratching the back of his head with that hand. he quickly moved his gaze from george and ellie and took the car out of park, starting off down the street.

the ride was quiet, almost completely quiet actually. aside from callum's random adjustments of the heating and cooling system within the car. he was fucking paranoid. was george too hot? was george too cold? was he comfortable? he only gave the other two presence's in his vehicle a couple of quick paranoid glances and kept his eyes mostly on the road. his one hand, that wasn't completley occupied with the controls, held on tightly to the steering wheel--not to mention his driving had become a lot more controlled and safe as soon as the smaller being entered the car. it was constant, as soon as callum thought he was hot he'd turn the dial down, in hopes that it would cool george down too. as soon as he thought he was cold he turned it up. and it never stopped. he was terrified. honestly. but, of course, his facial expression remained the epitome of calm and ease. he wouldn't make it too obvious to ellie that he was being ridiculous. though, it was probably as obvious as heck thanks to his constant hand movements.

much to callum's relief they arrived and he pulled slowly into the driveway, cautious of the bumps and, again, george's safety. he coughed, needlessly, as he stopped the car and got out, mumbling a clear, "i'll get your door,

[/color]" and quickly making his way around to thier side. he pulled the back door open first, pulling out her dress and then, after shutting it, quickly opened her door and gazed down awkwardly at the two, before deciding not to help ellie by picking up george, but to help ellie by picking up the bag she'd brought and holding it tightly in his hand. he stepped back, holding the door open for the two to climb out, and tried to look completley nonchalant about the situation, looking across the street as he waited for them to get out. and, as a soon as they got out, he shut the door and motioned for her to walk ahead of him, to the front door. his paranoid side got the best of him and he allowed a rough, "be careful,[/color]" to escape past his lips. all the way up to the front door he probably looked like he was about to jump elliot. he walked fairly close behind her, just to the side, his eyes continuously glancing down at the child in her arms. god, if anyone didn't think he'd be a good father, they'd think otherwise right now. of course, that didn't change cal's belief on the subject, but nonetheless...

as soon as they reached the front door, the paranoia killing him, he shuffled in front of her and opened it allowing her in first and calling out to down the hall as he followed closely behind her, again, "dad, we're here.[/color]"
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[/center]

tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words zero zero zero zero.
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes-__________-

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU POSSESS
a beauty calm and clear.

it was amazing how someone so small could have such a large effect on her. george wasn’t even four months old yet, though he’d managed to change elliot so much. people wouldn’t have been able to tell; outwardly, she was still the quiet, reserved, and shy elliot that people knew. but she was aware that she was different. she knew she wasn’t the same. her thoughts were constantly with her child; was he okay? did he miss her? did he want her? was he asleep? was mom coping okay with him? whenever she went out, all she ever wanted to do was go right back home and cling to her son. she was so much more careful in the way that she did things, especially when george was around her. she kept a tight hold of him, her arm folded around him in the absence of a child’s booster seat. she was so paranoid the they were going to get hit and george would get hurt; cal wasn’t exactly the most careful driver around. she licked at her lips nervously and flicked her eyes to callum when he moved, watching his hand move closer to george, almost feeling excited when she realised that he was about to touch him. but then he changed course and touched his own head instead, and ellie tore her eyes away and stared at the road. she dropped a kiss onto her sons head, and then widened her eyes instinctually as cal started the car, unconsciously wrapping her arm a little bit tighter around the baby. she just sat and stared at the road nervously, thinking that if they crashed, the air bag would make george suffocate. he wouldn’t survive. ellie had to stop those thoughts. she couldn’t think that; she couldn’t. nothing was going to happen to george. nothing. cal wasn’t stupid enough to crash. no.

she only glanced at him once throughout the entire car journey, and that was only after cal had turned the heating and the air conditioning down a million times. she wanted to explain that george was fine, that he was warm enough being close to her, but she didn’t. she looked away and at the road again, which quickly turned into a driveway. she was feeling nervous again, jittery. she hadn’t been here in almost a year. what if they didn’t like her anymore? what if they didn’t let her come in? what if they poked fun at her? at george? all the ridiculous thoughts were running through her head, making her irrational. since when had mr. and mr. rice not liked her? they’d always been nice to her, always made her feel welcome. as if they’d poke fun at george; he was their grandson. granted, not actually related, but still. they were grandparents. they weren’t going to be saying mean things. ellie just needed to calm down. she needed to make it obvious that she wasn’t worried or scared or anxious about seeing cal’s dads for the first time in months. she kept staring at the drive as the car stopped, not making any move towards clambering out of the car, barely even registering cal’s words. she was so damn nervous it was ridiculous; why was she nervous? why? she’d never been like this whilst going to cal’s house before -- well, except for the first time she met ted and pierre. she’d been so nervous then that she’d almost thrown up. almost. she blinked as the back door opened, and rested her chin lightly on her son’s head again, pressing a kiss to the top of it as cal pulled her own door open. she was preparing for callum to take george, so when he took her bag, she couldn’t stop the mild surprise from showing on her face. she hadn’t really wanted to let go of her son anyway. she wasn’t complaining. she pulled herself out of the car, a hand on the back of george’s neck, supporting him. she did as she was told -- yet again -- and walked in front of cal, carefully picking her way across the drive, her eyes on the ground.

"be careful,"

elliot flicked her eyes towards him and then away, back down to the ground. she stopped just a short distance away from the front door and allowed cal to shuffle in front of her, trying to shake her wide-eyed expression away and adopt something more neutral. she offered cal a slight smile as she walked in by way of thanks, and looked around the hall she used to know so well. she used to spend half her time down here; it was better than staying at home with her parents who constantly went on and on at her about how cal was bad news, how she’d end up regretting what she was doing, how cal’s parents were ‘wrong’ and ‘unnatural’ -- all comments made by her father, of course. he was old fashioned and set in his ways; cal’s dads were something he made frequent comments about when the subject of his youngest daughter’s boyfriend was brought up in conversation. elliot saw nothing wrong with someone having two dads; it wasn’t like it was a problem. mr. casey, however, clearly did. she turned her head ever so slightly as cal announced their arrival, just waiting for ted or pierre to jump out at her and make her jump like they used to. she stumbled and stopped in her tracks as someone appeared in front of her, her typical wide-eyed expression jumping up onto her face before it was quickly replaced with a grin that didn’t quite stretch all the way up to her eyes. “pie- mr. .. um. mr. rice, hi,” elliot sputtered, knowing it was only because cal was near her and she was in cal’s house talking to cal’s parents that she was messing up so much. she listened and nodded as pierre spoke to her, not really taking any of it in, the tense way she set her shoulders the only give away that she felt awkward and out of place.

and who’s this?

elliot blinked, not fully registering the question until shortly after. “oh, this-” she glanced at cal quickly, meeting his eyes for barely even a second. “this .. this is george. ou- my son.” she let pierre take the boy, and stood there with her arms folded across herself, wanting him back the second he left her arms. she looked around again -- and at cal – and stared for a few moments, before looking away again. “i’m .. just .. going to use the bathroom,” she mumbled, backing her way out of the kitchen and almost running up the stairs. she locked herself in the first bathroom she could find and stared at her reflection in the mirror, frowning lightly at her pale skin and those dark eyes that constantly made her look surprised. she sat on the edge of the bath and closed her eyes, rubbing a hand over her face. being here was making her feel off, peculiar, downright different. she didn’t know if she should have agreed. if she should have stood up for herself more. pulling her hands away, she sighed, and looked around the bathroom, noting how much it was the same, how hardly anything had changed. unlocking the door, ellie walked past the door to cal’s room, suddenly curious as to whether his room had changed, as to whether any of her stuff was still lying around -- she didn’t really expect the last one to be true. looking around furtively, she crept across the landing and turned the handle of his door, slipping inside and leaving the door open enough just so that she could slip back through. she just stood there and looked around his room, noticing how little it had changed. she smiled slightly to herself, though the smile slipped right back off her face as she heard the door behind her click shut. this may have been a bad idea.

[callum theodore rice]

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shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

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darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
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yes. pierre and theodore knew nearly everything there was no know about callum. nearly. he didn't hold much back from them. he may have been a complete jackass, but he respected his dad's, if only because they treated him like real parents should. or... at least how he thought real parents should. they certainly never beat him or held his hand over a flame, he'd give them that. and the most prying they ever did, he was convinced, was only because they loved him. they did. and he'd accept that love. and quite possibly love them back. even if he never honestly said that, or even showed it. he did. especially pierre. what? what was so wrong with that? kids were allowed to chose thier favorites... yes? so cal had. he told pierre anything the man asked. given, it was actually something callum had an answer for or even wanted to talk about at the given moment in time. which was why they knew about elliot. they frequently knew that if cal was going out he was either going shopping, or going to find a girl. or... he already had a girl and was going to meet her. to any other parent this might be slightly embaressing, but honestly... the men found it amusing. which was why they didn't pester him to lay off it. though they often told him he oughta stop messing with poor girls minds already. yeah fucking right. still then, they only knew the half of it. but they often tossed him the question as he went out the door, do you know her name? and once they'd realize that he mentioned elliot's name more often than any others they took an interest, and that was, more or less, how the whole thing snowballed. how they started caring just a bit more who he was going out to see.

beacuse lets face it... they loved elliot. from the first time callum decided he'd bring her over they loved her. pierre thought she was downright adorable and ted thought, from frist glance, that she'd be good for callum. yeah, she was beautiful. but most girls who were and figured that they were typically held themselves like... well, like they kenw they were. and ellie didn't do taht. she wasn't at all aware of her beauty, which was a darn shame, but altogether a good thing. if she knew, if she could fully comprehend what she did to callum... perhaps things would be different. perhaps she'd be different. perhaps he wouldn't like her as much anymore. he loved that she was so clueless, so blissfully unaware. but if there was a shot in hell that he could open her eyes to see it without the knowledge rotting her inner beauty then he'd do it. he'd let her know. but this was a delicate thing, very delicate. as was she. and cal's dad's loved it. they adored her. they constantly asked callum about her. not to mention they thought that him having a child would change everything, that having a baby with such a sweet girl that he obviously was a bit attached to--given by the fact that he even tried with her at all--would make him stop and rethink his life. but they were wrong. and only because cal wanted to prove them wrong. that might've been the worst thing he'd done to them. proved them wrong... on purpose, just because he wanted it to be know that he didn't fucking care that he had a child. if everyone thought he didn't care about elliot... or his son... then they'd just leave him the fuck alone. and it was working. on them. but not on him. him didn't necessarily want to drop them both. god this was complicated.

ellie looked nervous. he could tell that almost immediately. she was tense, her eyes were dodgy. and it amused him, slightly. how many times had she been here? quite a few. and she'd had to have gotten used to his dad's by now... right? but that would be so... unbelievably unlike her to just start up as the social butterfly right now. so he understood. he watched her. and pierre popped out of nowhere, just like he'd expected. with a great deal of hesitation callum tore his eyes from elliot and looked at his father expectantly, waiting for any sign that he would blurt out the first emabaressing thing that came to mind. but the older man's eyes remained intent on ellie. "ellie, honey, it's been so long. you should bug callum to bring you over more. you look just... beautiful. just like i remember. especially for having a baby." the man's lips spread wide and open across his teeth in a grin and his eyes finally dropped to the life in elliot's arms. cal's gaze returned itself to elliot and a small frown made it's way across his expression at the man's last comment. why, in hell, did he have to mention that? "and who's this?" immediately his eyes shot up to ellie's and he was a tad taken aback by the fact that her eyes met his own, nothing in his expression changed however. he simply held her gaze for as long as she would allow before watching the pass off from her arms to pierre's and the smallest of smile's tugged at his lips at the scene. pierre fawning over his grandson with what looked like sheer delight on his face and ellie standing by, holding her arms close to her chest, looking as though she'd kill to have george back within her grasp. in that moment he would've killed to have her say 'our son'. a phrase that meant the child belonged to callum as well. but he figured she phrased it as such for him. that was ellie, always thinking about others.

"i’m .. just .. going to use the bathroom," no shock at all was evident on callum's face, unlike the man just to the side of him, who apparently looked hurt as all get out. the two of them watched elliot wander up the stairs in silence, something claning in the kitchen down the hall. as soon as she was out of sight, pierre spoke up, "did i say something wrong?" of course cal wanted to say yes. he wanted to tell him that he oughta keep his mouth shut about the pregnancy, or anything that has happened within the last few weeks. but elliot probably hadn't noticed. in fact, callum was pretty sure she wasn't even listening, which only amused him more. he wanted to go find her. right now. george would be safe with pierre. but what could he say? i'm going to go to the bathroom? pierre would only retort with, 'make it quick, dinner's almost ready.' he didn't want his father thinking callum had her here for other reasons than he had claimed. why... did he have her here? god. "no.

[/color]" callum finally replied, his eyes still glued to the top of the stairs where he saw her disappear. he could feel pierre's gaze on him, here george moving about impatiently. "the poor thing looked scared to death." immediately callum tore his eyes away and peered off down the hallway, "is dinner almost ready?[/color]" "just about, ted's cooking." with that callum handed off george's bag to his father and headed for the stairs, her dress draped over his arm. he didn't think pierre would expect a response anyway. he even caught a glimpse of the older man heading down the hallway with george in his arms before he made it to the landing.

he didn't expect her to get lost, no that wasn't the reason for him heading up after her so quickly. she'd been here so many times she knew her way around the house. his bathroom in the hall, his bedroom... down the hall. his steps were silent as he made his way to the first door, peering inside at the rug and counters, his reflection in the mirror. but no elliot. of course. where the heck was she? he stepped back glancing both ways down the hallway before he noted his door was open. and seeing as how callum never left his door open on purpose, that gave him reason to be suspiscious. or... in this instance, to allow an incredibly mischevious smirk to tug at the corner of his lips. did she have to be so perfect? it was like she had read his mind. ever so carefully, he stepped down towards his doorway, thankful that thier house was of such high quality and therefore the floors didn't creak and moan under his weight. when he finally reached the crack she left he carefully eased his way in and shut the door behind him, knowing full well that she'd be aware of his prescence after the click of the handle as it shut. but that didn't stop him. in something of a low voice, meant more to set her off than to actually be heard properly and responded to he spoke up, "get lost?[/color]" his smirk widened ever so slightly as he set the dress down on his desk and stepped up behind her. fuck. if ever there was an oppurtunity, this would be it.

within a moment or so he had his hands on her side and his lips on her neck. and immediately he went to war with his mind. honestly... all callum wanted to do right now was have her. he wanted her naked, he wanted to lock the door feel every inch of skin like he hadn't in so long. he wanted to disregard the dress he'd bought her and the dinner that was waiting for them downstairs. he wanted to ignore the knocks at that might echo from the door or the fact that pierre was the one left in charge of his son. he just wanted elliot. he was overcome by that emotion. when was the last time he had her alone in his room? when would be the next time? would there be a next time? his mind was moving so fast, countering the slow movements of his hands and lips. his fingers found thier way up underneath her shirt and they slowly tugged it upwards, his palms running oh so softly up her sides. maybe he would take as much as he could get out of this as he could. maybe he'd watch the clock or wait for pierre to call up the stairs or peek his head in the doorway. which... would only embarass elliot more, no doubt, but he'd take it. whatever he could get. he trailed his lips up her neck as his fingers continued thier steady movement upwards before he whispered against her skin, "lift your arms.[/color]" she complied, as expected and he slowly, teasingly tugged her shirt up over her head and let it drop to the floor. his fingers exploring the exposed skin for a moment before he casually stepped around her.

god, almighty. he wanted to fuck her right there. and at this point he knew if he tried... she'd probably comply. she nearly always did. it didn't take much for callum to get what he wanted from her. and of that he shouldn't be too proud, but he was. shit, the boy was practically bursting with pride at this moment. his fingers slipped down to her waistline, fumbling with the button to her jeans for a few moments as he allowed himself soft and gentle kisses trailing from her collar bone to the corner of her lips. and as soon as he had her pants undone--with every intention, mind you, of continuing with the deed right there--he let his lips find hers in a soft and painfully slow kiss. at this point he was torturing himself much less, her. he couldn't do this. not right now. sure, it went against everything callum held for himself, what with the 'i don't care' persona and whatnot, but he couldn't do it. he'd specifically called pierre himself telling them that he and elliot were coming. that they should dress nice. that they'd be making a stop along the way. he couldn't do this. no. with silent frustration in his voice he pulled away and spoke again, "think you can handle it from here?[/color]" carefully, callum played the entire act off with a small smirk and stepped away from her pulling off his jacket and tossing it on his bed. and with every carefully placed step to his walk-in closet he felt just a bit more regret. it was sad but true, he couldn't really wait to have an oppurtunity like this any longer. but he continued his walk, tugging his v-neck up other his head before disappearing into the mini-room within a room to find himself something 'respectable' to wear for this 'occasion'.
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tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words two one five three.
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes shoot me D<

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[elliot jordan casey.]

YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU POSSESS
a beauty calm and clear.

she’d stiffened automatically, immediately standing still the moment she’d realised that she wasn’t alone in cal’s room. why had she thought that it had been a good idea to come in here? why? she was .. snooping. that was the word. that would have been how mrs. casey would have explained elliot’s actions. she was snooping through callum’s room, looking to see if it were different, if it had changed since the last time she’d been here, which was god knows when. the house had barely even changed; pierre looked exactly the same as he had before. still jumped out at her when she least expected it and shocked her and made her jump. managed to say things that made her feel awkward and slightly embarrassed at exactly the same time. ellie didn’t know what to do around them, any of them; ted, pierre .. cal. and it was understandable; the last time she and cal had actually, really talked, it had been where she’d told him that she was pregnant, that she was having his kid, that george would exist in seven months time. his response to that had been to walk away, to tell her to not to talk to him again, to leave him alone, to not bother him, to cut him out of her life. ellie hadn’t managed to do that; god knew she’d tried. she’d hid everything of his; pushed the memories into a compartment in the back of her mind and hid his belongings in a box under the bed, watching him from a distance and acting as though nothing had happened, nothing was wrong, that everything was fine and whatever the two had had, never even happened. it wasn’t that easy though, of course it wasn’t. after he’d left, there was one part of him that she couldn’t get rid of, one little piece of him that she had to see every day and that reminded her of him every second, something that got bigger and bigger and eventually started hurting her. like cal had.

george had reminded her so much of cal when she was pregnant with him that she barely even knew what to do. some days she just stayed up in her room all day, emerging only to grab bottles of water from the fridge, take her schoolwork off adam and to throw up in the bathroom. she just secluded herself away from people. cut herself off and wallowed in her own misery. she could have always done something about it. could have done what she was told and got rid of george, like her father wanted. but she didn’t. elliot didn’t want to terminate her baby. he was her baby. she’d had ultrasound scans and seen his oversized head on the monitor by that time. she wasn’t going to get rid of him. that was only the second time she’d ever stood up to her parents, the second time she’d actually acted like a teenager and rebelled and not listened. the first time had been when she’d first started going out with cal, when they told her she had to break up with him because he was ‘bad news’. because she was ‘too good for him’. because he came from a ‘dubious background’, meaning that his parents were gay and were the exact opposites of mr. and mrs. casey. they’d grown up in an area that hadn’t tolerated gays, hadn’t liked them, feared them, thought they were wrong. they didn’t like ted and pierre rice because they didn’t understand them, and they thought that elliot should be like that too. they’d told her to break up with cal, and she hadn’t. simple as. she’d told them that they could think what they wanted, because she was going to do what she wanted and that included going out with cal. they’d just thought it was some sort of teenage rebellion and that she’d get over it eventually, that someone different, respectable, good would catch her eye and that would be the end of cal, they’d never see him again. but it wasn’t. she kept going out with him. kept rebelling. kept doing what she wanted. until she was left on her own. it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that elliot’s parents were unbearably smug when she came home in tears.

pierre’s comment hadn’t really got to her. at least, not as he’d said it. she’d barely even been listening to a word mr. rice had said; she was too intent on trying to acclimatise back to the rice household, too focussed on the child in her arms to be bothered much about what pierre had said, other than direct questions. it had caught up with her as she’d sat in the bathroom, everything he’d said running around and around in her head on an endless loop, taunting her, mocking her. she should nag callum to bring her over more often. how was she going to do that? she could barely even look at cal without feeling her knees go weak; to ask him to take her to his house would probably make her faint, or at least woozy. she couldn’t talk to him face to face without feeling like that. at least when she im’d him, she knew she wasn’t going to fall over, because she was at least already sitting down. no message history, though, of course. if mr. casey had his way, her computer would be downstairs in the lounge where he could see her. she didn’t understand why pierre had called her beautiful. she wasn’t beautiful. she was just .. ellie. normal. average. there was nothing special about her. why didn’t people see that? she wasn’t any more important than the next girl. and she had no clue whatsoever what pierre had meant ‘especially for having a baby’. was that meant to be a compliment? all it had achieved was confusion.

she was being rude. she knew that. she hated it. she shouldn’t have just run off like that, shouldn’t have locked herself in the bathroom like some anti-social teen and then gone snooping around in cal’s room. how did she look to the men downstairs? like a girl who didn’t want to be here? elliot wanted to be here; of course she did. it meant she got away from the dramas of her own life, at least for only a few hours. it meant she could focus on something other than her father’s insults, either about herself or george, that she didn’t have to sit through another evening of snide remarks and arguments and tears. she should have just stayed downstairs. acted like nothing was wrong and pretended she was fine. if she was found in cal’s room, it would look like she was here for some other reason, that she had some sort of ulterior motive that involved herself and cal -- which, for the record, she wouldn’t complain about. she never did. she wished she hadn’t changed course and said ‘my son’ instead of ‘our son’, but she knew cal didn’t really like being reminded of the fact that he was a father. so she didn’t say it out loud. that was just ellie; being considerate.

she stayed perfectly still, staring straight ahead of her through the window as she strained her ears, waiting for whoever it was behind her to say something. or, rather, waiting for cal to say something. it wasn’t like pierre or ted was going to follow her up here, and if they had, they wouldn’t have closed the door behind them, and then said nothing. they’d have made it obvious that they were looking for her. they’d have called her name, opened the door wide and asked her what she was doing. no, she knew it was cal behind her. knew instinctively that he’d have that smirk on his face that made her go completely haywire. she just knew it. her gaze flickered down to the toes of her black converse, thumbs hooking themselves through her belt loops as she just stood there, waiting. her heart started to beat faster again, her pulse quickening needlessly. he wasn’t doing anything; why was she reacting so violently? she was just in the room with him. in his room with him. in his room with him, alone. with a closed door. where no one could figure out what she was doing. where no one would know unless she -- or cal -- told them. which she wouldn’t. elliot wasn’t like that. she kept most things to herself. and when it came to sex, she was even more secretive than usual. she lied about it. she’d even lied to adam the last time it had happened.

"get lost?"

she took a shaky breath in, knowing it was audible, knowing that cal would have heard the air hitching in her throat, that he’d be acutely aware of what he was doing to her. she refused to turn around, knowing that if she looked at him, she wouldn’t be able to say no. she wouldn’t be able to refuse him. she wouldn’t refuse him anyway, but that wasn’t the point. her gaze snapped up and stared through the window again, rolling her shoulders, blinking more times than was actually needed, when she felt it. she stopped breathing at the feel of his hands on her waist, her eyes widening minutely and her breathing quickening even more. she closed her eyes at his lips on her neck, more arguing with herself that she shouldn’t do this than the fact that she was enjoying it. she should say no, that this wasn’t what she was here for, that his dads would wonder where they were and what they were doing and would no doubt end up looking for them, and would find them in flagrante in callum’s room, which would cause elliot to want to leave immediately. whether she wanted this or not didn’t count. she shouldn’t want to do this. not right now. not when she knew that there was a ridiculously expensive dress somewhere in the room behind her and she knew that there was food downstairs to be eaten, and her son. she couldn’t. she wouldn’t. would she? she couldn’t help herself, couldn’t stop the hand that raised itself shakily and pressed itself to the side of cal’s head, gently, telling him that she liked what he was doing, that she didn’t want him to stop, that she wouldn’t protest, wouldn’t say no. she rolled her head ever so slightly to the side, granting him more access to her neck, her eyes sliding shut at the feel of cal’s lips against her skin and his arms around her. when had they last done this? too long ago. elliot found herself immediately wanting this, wanting him so badly that it wasn’t even fair. she didn’t want him to stop. all thoughts of the fact that she’d come over for dinner were thrown out of her head, the fact that she had her son with her downstairs didn’t even matter. she just wanted cal, right now. right fucking now.

she breathed in shakily as his lips moved, and opened her eyes slowly at his words, focussing on where his fingers were, what they were doing. she pulled her hand away from the side of his head and -- after a brief moment of hesitation where she both asked herself and dismissed the answer to whether this was really a good idea -- slowly raised her arms, stretching them above her head. she let her breath out sharply as she felt his fingers tugging at the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head, taking too long about it. impatience was a trait that -- unfortunately -- ran in all of the casey family members. she shivered, almost automatically, as her t-shirt was thrown carelessly onto the ground, and lowered her arms down slowly, loving the feel of cal’s hands against her skin. she couldn’t remember when this had last happened. she wanted him. she wanted him so fucking much it almost hurt. she wanted him to fuck her; she didn’t want to be good girl elliot; she almost wanted to be different and demand it of him. she changed when she was around cal, she knew she did. she just denied it whenever anyone else told her so. she stared up at him, pushing herself up onto her tiptoes and winding her arms around him, shivering softly at his hands, knowing it wasn’t because she was cold, knowing it was the anticipation. christ, she wanted this. she allowed him to undo her jeans, pulling herself closer and closer to him with every kiss that was pressed to her skin. the minute her pants were undone, she moved, and quickly grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head as fast as she could, making it obvious just how impatient she was. she wasn’t prepared for the kiss, hadn’t seen it coming. she breathed in sharply, and stared for a second, before sliding her arms up his chest and back around his neck, kissing back just that little bit harder than him, disliking the slowness of what was happening, hating that she was being forced to be patient.

"think you can handle it from here?"

she was pretty sure she made some sort of noise as he pulled away, and probably followed his lips in an effort to recapture them and kiss him again. this couldn’t stop; not now. not fucking now. this wasn’t fair; he couldn’t just start something and end it halfway. it wasn’t fair. not one fucking bit. she looked at him, half annoyed with him, half angry at herself for falling for it. she pulled her arms away from him and turned around, staring at the dress he’d bought for her and trying to squash the feeling of wanting to scream in frustration. this wasn’t fucking fair. she didn’t even say anything to him; her tense shoulders had come back, and she turned her head away from him, ignoring him. she’d throw an insult at him, but she wasn’t like that. she waited until he’d walked into his closet, and then let go, kicking out at the first thing she could. his desk rattled audibly, and she kicked it again, and again. she fucking hated him. hate, hate. that wasn’t fucking fair. she kicked his desk one more time for good measure, ignoring the pain in her toes, and then sat down huffily in his chair, glaring at the black piece of cloth swamping it. she’d get him back for that. she didn’t know how, but she would.

[callum theodore rice]

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shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

[/size]
darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
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it all seemed so innocent at first really. what callum did. what he founded as his 'life style'. it was innocent. it started in what... middle school? for some reason, the fact that the boy acted as though he couldn't care less was... attractive. even back in middle school. grade... seven. though in grade six he noted some cases of this as well. they'd stare. they'd giggle, they'd blush. they'd smile. they'd wave at him. at first he was completely confused. utterly. he didn't get it, of course. he was a what... eleven... twelve year old boy? it didn't make sense to him. girls were weird. girls were gross. girls had cooties. but it didn't take much for him to realize otherwise. yeah, callum had his first kiss... at age thirteen. no surprise there. the boy had to be the first in his entire grade to realize that cooties were nonexistent. and girls were far from gross. well... most of them anyway. he never had crushes. he just knew which ones were good looking and which ones weren't. which ones he wouldn't mind playing spin the bottle with and which ones he'd make excuses to get out of a group project with. hell, by then he could even sweet talk teachers. it may seem a bit disgusting or... odd to you all. but to cal it was natural. he had a gift so he ought to use it. though it often meant sweet talking his eighth grade biology teacher to get out of a project that he didn't feel he wanted to do. he was bad. he honestly was. but he loved it. he absolutely loved it.

ninth grade was when he started noticing boys. yeah. callum notices boys. he can't help it. he'd be pansexual if he wasn't so terrified of what other people would think. and this was what got him into smoking, alcohol, drugs and the like. he wanted to impress a certain boy. and while he never actually got anywhere with said boy he did get three lovely addictions. nicotine was his new best friend. alcohol was in close second and drugs were like a easy to find, but rare, delicacy. with the money he had the social status he so quickly gained--and held quite easily--getting what he wanted wasn't hard at all. in fact, callum practically had everything he wanted. freshman year not only included his first taste of the forbidden fruits but his first fuck. some blonde headed girl that happened to invite herself over to previously mentioned boys house for a good... smashing. all in all, the four of them--as there was another girl present--were wasted and the event pretty much turned into the boy callum had had his eye on and the other girl--who happened to be a brunette--and callum and the blondie... well... fucking. christ did he remember that night. well... as best as he could. more or less he woke up naked next to some girl and that kind of flipped the switch in the back of his mind for him. and after that... he couldn't stop. his next few times were with the same girl, given they occurred at the same sort of events, but he never considered her his girlfriend. and she never considered him her boyfriend. so all was all that ended well there.

after that he branched out, obviously. and it didn't take him long to get the hang of things. ahem... two months. more or less. cal was smooth talking and seducing his way into every and any girls pants he laid his eyes on. and he stopped looking at boys for a while. because honestly... he didn't like the idea of feeling like he was new at something again. and with the sketchy reputation he had now built... being caught with a guy wouldn't exactly score him high on most girls lists. so all in all, it was a safe move to stick to females. no to mention he fucking loved... fucking. and when you can get something you love at all times of the day without much effort... then why stop? so in a nutshell, that was exactly what he did for about... well... five ish months. and that was when he met miss elliot jordan casey. the main question is probably, what the hell is the whole fascination surrounding her? well, to callum, elliot was the prettiest thing he'd seen... yet. honestly. she was gorgeous. and he was dead set on having her. as soon as fucking possible. but that didn't happen as well as he'd hoped. elliot was a bit more shy and kept to herself than he'd previously imagined. and instead of that being a total turn off, or him immediately turning it into a game, he found it a complete turn on. the whole innocence thing... he fucking loved it. so, for some ungodly reason, he stuck around. through the end of the school year. and for some idiotic reason he allowed himself to become her boyfriend. though he wouldn't lie, he wasn't the best 'boy friend' out there.

in fact, as far as these things could be ranked, callum was probably the worst 'boy friend' out there. he wasn't cuddly, he hardly paid her much mind, he was far too nonchalant, he didn't like the normal 'dates' that most people thought commonplace to occur between a boy friend and a girl friend. all in all he sucked at playing that game. not to mention he was a tad rude when all he wanted was to fuck her and she constantly held out on him. so yes, not going to lie, he cheated. far too many times. callum more than likely held a record for that. there had to be a secret book somewhere that held records for most times cheated on a girl whilst dating her. and he definitely broke that. in fact, it was a miracle the boy hadn't contracted some sort of disease by now. but all was well, he was clean as a whistle. healthy as fuck. aside from his terrible habits that would more than likely cause him to die at the ripe old eight of twenty seven with some varying form of lung cancer. or alcohol poisoning. or an overdose. honestly, there were multiple reasons but that wasn't the boy. the point was he sucked at being a boyfriend. but did he care? not one fucking bit. he just didn't want to let her go. and if being attached to her in such a way was the answer he wouldn't fight it. and his relief came in a little over a months time. she was all cute about it too. and in the heat of the moment... cal found himself taking it easier on her. feeling something more for her. almost blurting out those three magical words that would, no doubt, attach her to him ball and chain for the rest of his life. but he kept his cool, and he was more than satisfied. once he'd had a taste... he didn't want to stop.

she was literally perfect. in every single way. every. single. way. cal had yet to find a flaw. honestly. he loved her hair. it was gorgeous, shiny, thick, brilliantly long. he loved her eyes. they were big, round, dark, ridiculously timid. he loved her smile. her legs. her feet. her arms. her hands. her fingers. her neck. every fucking bit of her. and he couldn't get enough. he passed it off as a mere infatuation and let it slide that after every other girl he fucked he found himself coming back to ellie. it didn't seem so bad. he just felt better around her. he liked and hated himself more around her. but that didn't change anything. he wasn't leaving her be. she gave him to reason to. and if she knew he was cheating she didn't seem to mind so he didn't mind. at all. it wasn't like he actually... loved her or anything. like he was actually one hundred percent devoted to her, or god forbid, married. so he could do whatever he wanted and not mind one bit. that was the beautiful thing.

just around the beginning of their sophomore years a little even occurred. callum went to a party. without elliot of course, because that would be one, awkward. two, it would spoil her innocence--in his opinion. and three, he'd be seen as 'with someone'. that wouldn't fly. so he went alone. there was alcohol, drugs, etcetera, etcetera. whatever you imagine would be at a party callum rice would attend. and it didn't take long for him to get royally smashed and high as a kite. yes. at the same time. miracle worker he was, he couldn't stop himself from what happened next. that was the night cal had sex with a guy. yes. for the first time. and god, the next morning he hated himself for it. it scared him. had anyone seen it? did anyone know it happened? would the guy say anything to anyone? in his mind he was fucked. his solution? throw himself at ellie. yep. in response callum spent more time with ellie. his moods didn't improve much around her. and his main aim was to have sex with her as much as she'd allow and as much as he could handle just to prove to himself that he was straight. and it all caught up to him. the night ellie seemed just a little bit more confused, just a little bit more shy and a little bit more afraid of him... was the night that callum found out he was going to be a dad. and christ did that tear down those walls. fast as hell. no more could he stick around her. no more did he want to be in this make shift 'relationship'. he wanted out. because the last thing callum wanted was to be a father.

he'd left her like she had been nothing to him. which in reality, he'd claim she really had been nothing. but for some reason he couldn't stand leaving her. it actually hurt him. he blew it off like he'd just been around her for too long and got attached, hoping there was nothing else, nothing more complicated surrounding it. but as soon as he saw her in that store he knew he honestly couldn't stay away much longer. he'd seen her once... or twice... or a few times after the fact. things having to deal with the baby, mostly. and each time he tried to use it as a means to wean himself off of her. but it wasn't happening. he was hooked. he was stuck. he wanted elliot. and if his dwindling number of fucks wasn't enough to prove that fact he didn't know what was. he might not be able to be her boyfriend--like he wanted to--and he might not be the accepted by her parents. and he sure as hell wasn't the right type of guy for her, but callum wanted elliot. that was the end of that. when there was something callum wanted... well, you know the rest. he'd get her whether she wanted him to or not. whether her parents wanted him to or not. no matter how much it didn't seem like the right thing to do in his own mind... he'd get elliot. if it killed him.

just not... right now. in the literal sense of the phrase, at least. they had to go to dinner. they had to. and he wasn't really sure if having sex with her right now was a brilliant plan at all, given their lack of being together for the past few months. ...or longer. so he just... ought to hold off. though she wasn't making it any easier if she felt the same. he wasn't going to lie, he started it, but elliot was obviously intent on finishing it. and the knowledge that he'd been so close, that she'd practically been at his finger tips just a few moments previous wasn't any help either. but he stalked his way, casually, into his closet and scratched idly at his chest. he couldn't help himself. he wanted to badly to just walk back on out and tell himself, 'fuck it' and get on with it. but he couldn't. for apparently obvious reasons that, for some reason, he himself wasn't getting. he shuffled through the clothes, not bothering with his jeans for the moment, though their lack of give with making a painful reminder from the scene from the moments previous. he'd reached for a black dress shirt of sorts when he heard something rattle back in his room. a sort of amused half smile tugged at the corner of his lips and he shook his head. typical. elliot was clumsy. at least... that was his first thought. before he heard the sound a couple more times and finally his eyebrows furrowed together. "what the fuck...

[/color]" he mumbled stepping slowly towards his closet door and peering out at her just as she kicked once more at his desk and fell into his chair.

the smile on his face grew and he couldn't help but be ridiculously amused by the act. though he wasn't quite sure of the fact that he had just led her on quite a bit or because the realization that he'd gotten her here without much effort finally set in and she figured he wouldn't be able to hear her kick his desk from the fifteen or so feet away he was. she looked pissed. and he fucking loved it. he ate it up, every perfectly dishevled hair on her head, the curve of her bare stomach and the pout he could only imagine was set into her face like a carving into stone. figuring watching her was just about as creepy as it gets, he rolled his eyes and padded along back into his room, stepping in front of her, the look on his face assumingly enough to tell her that he was amused by the display. he looked down at her and something of a laugh escaped passed his lips as his eyes fell down to hers. just as he thought. a pout. ]

shit. maybe he should have stayed in the closet.

he had had every intention of saying something snide about her little act of rage, or the fact that she hadn't managed to get herself in the dress yet, but he couldn't manage either of those. he couldn't manage himself. it took all of two seconds for that smirk to fall from his face and that little light in the back of his mind to turn green. another few seconds for the driver behind him to shout to get a move on and he was in motion. he reached down, grabbing her wrist and pulled her up to him, both arms wrapping themselves firmly around her back, making damn sure they pressed ellie as fucking close to callum as possible and his forced his lips to hers with a great deal more force than he allowed in the tease of a kiss he'd put her through just a few minutes earlier.

fuck it. now was not the right time to decide he wanted to be good.
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tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words two five six four.
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes bleh.

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[elliot jordan casey.]

YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU POSSESS
a beauty calm and clear.

she hated herself for falling for it. hated that he’d not gone through with it. hated that he wasn’t in the room with her and that she was too chicken to do anything about that. she hated that she’d been led on, hated that she’d just been left hanging, hated that she was so fucking frustrated that she didn’t even know what to do. she shouldn’t have come into his room, shouldn’t have snooped. she should have just stayed downstairs like a good girl. stayed downstairs like a normal person would have done. she was just stupid. she was stupid and naïve and gullible and submissive and .. it had to change. she couldn’t just .. live her life the way she was, otherwise she’d just be walked all over, she’d just be taken advantage of by everyone that knew her. and she just wouldn’t say anything about it, because that’s the type of person elliot casey was. she never complained, never said that she didn’t want to do something or didn’t like something. she just did as she was told, just did what people wanted her to do. she hardly ever thought about herself, because she figured that no one else did either. she wasn’t special enough to be thought about, didn’t deserve to be thought about by someone, so she just didn’t expect it. it was partly why she didn’t fully understand why cal and everyone said she was beautiful. she just didn’t see it. didn’t get why people said it. it confused her. she just saw herself as average. she’d thought this at least a million times today already, but that was honestly how she saw herself. normal. average. not special in any way, shape or form. just elliot.

she stared at her feet irritably, not fully understanding where the violence had come from, fully aware that she was different it was all because she was here, in cal’s house. in cal’s room, alone with him, topless and with her jeans unbuttoned. if she were anyone else, she’d automatically be labelled a slut. anyone who goes over to someone’s house for dinner and ends up having sex with the host instead is a slut, she knew that. but the term ‘slut’ wouldn’t apply to ellie. how could it? she was one of the most shy and timid girls in her year; she barely talked to anyone outside her own group of friends, and she didn’t even tell them that she’d first had sex until a week after it had happened. she was discreet and secretive; she didn’t broadcast the fact that she was sleeping with someone, that she was fucking callum rice, of all people. nobody had expected that pairing, least of all ellie herself. he was just someone that she watched from a distance and looked away from when she was looked at. she’d never even thought in a million years that she’d end up being the one he’d go out with, that she’d be the one he picked to be his girlfriend. she knew there were prettier girls than her in their grade. she knew he could have had anyone out of the whole freshman year, so why did he pick her? why was she the one who -- pretty much -- belonged to him?

she hadn’t dated much before cal. of course, she’d been on dates, but she’d never felt the same way as she did when she was with cal. they had all been with sons of friends to the family; all been respectable, honourable, overall good people who were more interested in how her day had been than getting her into bed. there wasn’t anything wrong with that, it was just that elliot didn’t particularly go for that. she wasn’t the type of girl who wanted a good guy. since when had a good girl ever wanted a good guy? it was always the same; good girl falls for bad boy, bad boy breaks good girl’s heart, and good girl spends the rest of her life pining after bad boy and wishing she could have him back. that was pretty much elliot’s life in a nutshell. her first ‘date’ with cal had differed so much to ones she’d had with other people. for a start, he was late, and then he’d turned up looking all ruffled and pretty much made elliot want him right then and there. they’d just gone to see a movie. that was all. but elliot had hardly paid any attention to what was on the screen. she had been focussing every bit of her attention on the person next to her. cal always managed to capture her whole concentration and refused to let it go, and elliot didn’t even mind.

she knew that she was different from all the other girls he’d ever dated. well, not exactly dated; she knew he wasn’t the type to date. she knew she was the only one. she was different to everyone else, and she couldn’t figure out why. couldn’t figure out what it was about her that appealed to him so much. she’d made him wait; she hadn’t just let him get what he wanted immediately. she’d never had a boyfriend before him, at least, not one as intent upon sex as he was. but .. she’d been a virgin. she was scared. she wanted to wait until she knew he wasn't going to bolt the minute she gave up. she almost expected him to leave not long after; she hadn’t expected him to stick around half as long as he did, didn’t think that they’d last the summer, which, they actually did. it was only until it got to october that they had issues. when it was october, she’d become pregnant. when it was october, everything had changed. nothing had stayed the same. cal had left, and elliot was left alone. she’d had no one. her parents had been unbelievably smug when she’d come home on her own, and locked herself up in her room and had refused to come out except for food and bathroom breaks for weeks on end. it was like they were psychic; elliot hadn’t officially told them she and cal weren’t together any more, but they just seemed to instinctually know. she wasn’t sure how, or why. maybe it was just a simple case of snooping and listening in on elliot’s phone conversations with alice when she complained. she didn’t know; she’d never asked.

it wasn’t like they’d made it easier for her either. mrs. casey hadn’t explained to her how hard it would be, how much she was going to wish that she wasn’t pregnant. how she’d throw up every morning for absolutely no reason at all, how she’d want to eat food she’d usually rather die than eat ( in elliot’s case, it had been marmite, nutella and peanut butter; she still ate it now ) and how she’d be happy one moment and so unbelieveably depressed the next. it was ridiculous. she’d had next to no help from her family; the only person who’d actually given her advice was marissa, and the only person who actually cared enough to get marissa to help her was adam. rebecca wouldn’t have known what to do; rebecca didn’t have kids. she was more focussed on her career. she was trying to be the editor-in-chief of a newspaper; kids right now would probably end up ruining her life. elliot didn’t understand why her parents regarded her as a failure. so she’d made one bad decision. so she’d messed up once, but other than that, she was pretty much perfect. she never did anything wrong; she always got good grades, always did her homework, did as she was told, never backchatted, didn’t party excessively, didn’t drink, smoke, do drugs .. elliot was so fucking innocent and naive it was almost painful, though her parents seemed to think that now she’d had sex and now she was no longer a virgin and that she was a mother that all that innocence had gone. she was no longer their little girl; she was just someone who lived in their house, and elliot hated it. she hated being treated as though she didn’t exist and as though she weren’t important. according to her father, she’d ruined everything. every chance at a career, university, her life. he was the one who had tried to push her decision towards getting rid of george. he was the one who hated his grandson. mrs. casey at least showed some interest in george. he treated elliot now as if she wasn’t even his daughter. he argued with her over the stupidest of things, and they always got to her. they always upset her and made her run out almost in tears. made her start her car and just drive somewhere, any where that he wasn’t. it wasn't fair.

she didn’t even want to look at the dress right now, never mind wear it. she sat there, sitting in cal’s desk chair, just staring at the offensive piece of cloth that cost close to .. well .. elliot wouldn’t know, but it was still stupidly expensive. she was contemplating just staying up in cal’s room and sulking, refusing to come out, but she knew that wouldn’t work. cal would do something, make her want him, and then leave her hanging again that she’d be so annoyed and so frustrated that she’d end up walking down the stairs and to wherever his dads were, just so she could get out of the same room as him. along with impatience, the casey’s were also incredibly easily annoyed. and they didn’t put up with much; elliot was the exception, but even she had her limits. she’d only tolerate a certain amount before it started getting to her. she barely even realised that she was pouting; she just knew that she did not want to wear that dress right now, and nothing could make her. nothing. she wouldn’t let cal convince her. no. she wouldn’t. she’d stand up for herself for once. say no. refuse to do what he wanted. it might not work. but she could at least say she’d tried. she’d figured he hadn’t been listening, wouldn’t care if she kicked something in frustration and annoyance. she was so unbelievably pissed off it was ridiculous. elliot didn’t do pissed off; she was one of those girls whom it was stupidly hard to annoy, but cal had managed it. cal had somehow managed to piss her off that much that she’d become violent. how did that work? elliot wasn’t violent. she never had been.

she ran her hands through her -- admittedly, incredibly dishevelled -- hair and glared and pouted at the floor, looking up only when a pair of feet intruded her line of vision. she attempted to glare at cal, to shoot him a look that would give away just how utterly pissed of with him she was, but she found she couldn’t, purely because she honestly couldn’t glare; she didn’t have the temperament to look haughty and threatening. she let her breath out irritably through her nose as she heard his laugh, hating that she was amusing to him, hating that she was ‘funny’. elliot didn’t think that the fucking situation was funny. oh no. elliot thought it was down right .. piss .. annoying.

she didn’t want to stop ‘glaring’ at him, but she found that she couldn’t help herself. the minute cal’s smirk fell off his face, her irritated look disappeared too. she just stared for a moment, sitting there without her t-shirt and undone pants, before she felt his hand on her wrist and stood up far too quickly, giving in far too eagerly at just the hint of intimacy. she twisted her wrist out of his grip and pushed herself up onto her tiptoes, loving the fact that she was so fucking close to cal and that there was no fucking way she was going to let him change that. she wasn’t letting him out of this one. not a chance. her eyes slid shut at the feel of his lips on hers, and kissed back just that little bit more forcefully than him, her hands working quickly to undo his belt in a move that was very unlike elliot casey, before sliding them up his chest slowly, dragging her fingers across his skin, and back around his neck, pulling herself just that little bit closer to him.

if he thought he was getting out of it this time, he was so wrong.

[callum theodore rice]

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shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

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darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
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he had done a lot of shitty things in his life. and that seriously meant a lot.

example one.

fifth grade year. by this point he had been with his adoptive parents for what… four… five years? whatever. no lies, they were weird. they kind of scared him at first. not because they were two men. no, because they were two gay men. flamboyant as flamboyant gets. why am i saying this in the past tense? theodore and pierre rice are two of the most gay men in all of boston, massachusetts of this callum was sure. and if not because of the fact that they are the only ones that have gone completely public, then because they literally are the sole gay couple in all of boston. don’t get him wrong, cal loved them. how could he not? they were his dad’s. they raised him. they weren’t anything like his biological father. and therefore, they were perfect. but back in fifth grade he wanted nothing more than to poke the eyes that sat underneath their perfectly plucked eyebrows out with their own tweezers. in the fifth grade he was convinced that they were, literally, the devil. if not that then they ran thier own branch in the devil's offices focused solely on ruining little boys--or girls, they weren't particular--lives simply for the sheer excitement of the sport. like every other petitioning mother and father of the other kids that attended his grade school. to callum, theodore and pierre were just as bad as them. they hated callum because they hated his fathers and therefore callum hated them. then... and in a totally childish and unnecessary fashion. but in his own way callum hated them nonetheless.

he'd often mutter to himself how he wished they were dead and what have you. how he would do anything to go home to his father despite the fact that social services had no fucking idea where he was and the abuse he'd face upon his return would be far too much to handle at his age. not to mention he wasn't exactly the burliest of the bunch. well, quite frankly, callum was a stick. all through grade school. it wasn't because he hardly ate he was just... naturally thin. always had been always seemed to be. sure he'd gotten a bit more definition, thrown on a few more pounds and gotten some muscle. but honestly, callum theodore rice wasn't the type to work out, or even care about his weight. as long as he wasn't gaining at a ridiculously rapid rate then he was fine. but wow, that was way off course. the point was that callum hated his dad's as a child. they caused him far too much trouble, which didn't help at all when trying to make friends at school. too many of the parents had told thier children that callum rice was a bad influence on them and if they wanted to keep playing video games or drinking soda, then they oughta stay away from him. yes, imagine it, callum had been a social child. despite his detrimental past he actually tried to make friends... at first. but that changed far too quickly. and after the incident where his dad's were told they weren't allowed on the premises together--leaving callum with a very upset pierre at all those parent teacher functions--he'd treated them with far less respect tahn they deserved for taking him in in the first place. yeah, the upset on callum's part went away after a while but he could never forgive himself for that. forget what you thought you knew about callum, the kid actually cared. and so he hated himself for constantly slamming the door in his father's faces. telling them he hated them. making secret death wishes in the privacy of his room. that, he felt terrible for. that, he'd never live down.

example two.

well... duh. the past few years. though that was less one an example than an entire montage of things he... no scratch that, callum didn't even think that they were good ideas. he just did them because he liked them. and therefore they were obviously the things to do. when had callum ever not done what he wanted to do? it was pretty basic at first, yes, but there was no denying it. everything he did was just... wrong. sleeping with any and every girl he found even remotely attractive like he was keeping score or trying to win his place in the guiness book of world records? trashy. idiotic. he could've gotten some sort of sexually transmitted disease by this point. in fact, it was a miracle he hadn't. not to mention a miracle he hadn't gotten any other females pregnant. honestly. what were the chances that after all of this time he'd only gotten one pregnant? and it just so happened that that one was the one he seemed to be having some sort of feelings for. whether or not they were serious feelings. there was no lying at this point. callum evidently felt something for ellie. fuck yes. god, who were we kidding? but that's beside the point. the point was that he'd led so many girls on over the years without a care in the world as to how they felt the morning after. he'd tell them whatever they wanted, he'd do whatever they wanted, though most of the time they'd do that for him and he wouldn't have to stoop so low. but he'd do anything to get in a girls pants. it was what he did. he could almost consider it a living and force people to pay him for it. lord knows many would. but it was still wrong. along with the vast amounts of alcohol he consumed and the ungodly amounts of illegal drugs he put into his system. it was wrong. it was immoral. it was callum. and it didn't seem to be changing.

example three.

ellie.

and by example three of the shittiest things callum theodore rice had done i literally mean ellie was one of them. ellie was one of the shittiest things he'd done. not... at all meaning that she was shitty in any way shape or form. just the fact that he'd slept with her at all. though that entailed a world of other things. it was shitty of callum rice to approach her in the first place. it was shitty of callum rice to stick with her all summer. it was shitty of callum rice to let her think that he was actually her boyfriend. it was shitty of callum rice to cheat on her. it was shitty of callum rice to continue to sleep with her. but he did it all nonetheless. and most of all it was shitty of callum rice to impregnate her. though he'd never use his one wish to return george from whence he came. never in a million years. he loved that little baby with every sinful bone. but what he'd done by contributing to half of that child's genes was brought another child into his world. from here he could only see what happened to himself happening to george. though it might, and probably wouldn't, happen that way that was all he could imagine. somehow he'd lose all his money and leave pierre and ted behind. ellie would disappear or... die--though he'd never ever wish for that. and callum would be left with george. and he'd be a complete repeat of his devil father. a cloned copy. beer belly and all. and while the likliehood of that actually happening was very very low... that was all callum could see. stubborn jackass though he was callum was still the ultimate pessimist.

but that... that could all change... right? none of that certainly had any affect on how fucking sexy callum thought elliot was. none of that had any affect what so ever on his much he loved sex. so why not take two bad things and turn them into a good thing yes? sex and elliot. in other words... sex with elliot. which was exactly what callum planned on doing. he could smell the food from downstairs carrying quite nicely up the stairs through the crack under his door and right into his room. it smelt nice. which was no turn off whatsoever. he wasn't stopping now. he'd gotten started and fuck no was he stopping. he'd expected a little more fight from her and quite frankly when she pulled her wrist from his grip he almost expected a quite pathetic elliot beating on his chest or trying to push him away with little to no effort at all, because let's face it... could elliot ever say no to callum? trick question. which made the hands at his belt not just completely surprising. it was almost expected. almost. elliot hardly ever took initiative. ever. which was no problem at all with callum but also made the entire situation surprising. but at the same time she'd already prepared him. because elliot hardly ever kicked out at something like she had a few minutes prior either. so he allowed her to work at it until he felt her hands trail back up his chest, allowing himself the faintest of smirks not at all allowing it to break his lips from hers. he put great effort into that task. his lips weren't leaving hers until he said so. but there were also a few things he had to tend to first before going any further with this escapade.

with some effort he moved both of his hands down her sides and turned, continuing the motion until he was pushing her backwards--slowly, of course, so that she'd get the hint and comply before she'd start tripping over things and they'd end up on the floor with a loud thump that would no doubt bring pierre up the stairs. or ted seeing as how pierre was supposed to be watching thier son... thier son. dear god. another reason for them to move faster. seeing as how he wasn't putting any more clothes on or going downstairs until they were both satisfied. finally the backs of his fingers touched the door, as well as her back and he pressed himself up against her for a moment, simply allowing himself to feel her like he hadn't in so long. it was here that he gave his jeans a small push and allowed them to drop to the ground before he stepped out of them and reached a hand away from her side and towards the handle of his door. in a few moments he had the handle locked and both hands back on her sides, avoiding her bra seeing as how taht would be just one more piece of clothing she would have to hurry and put on before getting her dress on and going downstairs. evidently, that was one small section of her body he'd have to give up feeling for the time being. ...he could handle that.

finally allowing them both air, he pulled away and wrapped both arms around her waist--hoping she'd get the hint that he'd now be carrying her--and lifted her lightly before turning them back around to face his bed. he trailed light kisses down her neck, fully aware that time wasn't thier best friend at this particular moment and elliot would be too far past annoyed to deal with his teasing antics, as he carried her on over to his bed and finally rested them both down on it. him on top of her. how fucking long before they'd been in a position like this huh? how fucking long? he snaked his fingers underneath the waistband of her jeans and tugged as gently as he could in the given situation, his llips returning to hers with a great deal of force. god, he wanted her right. fucking. now.

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tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one nine nine six.
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes awkward, much?

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU POSSESS
a beauty calm and clear.

she'd always considered herself smart enough to make the right decisions. she didn't do drugs, she didn't smoke, didn't drink. she was, essentially, one of the most responsible sixteen year olds in boston. so she'd engaged in a little underage sex; hadn't every teenager? and so it hadn't ended the way she'd have liked, but it wasn't like she could change that, or even like she wanted to. she was smart enough to make the right choices, yes, but she still got it wrong sometims. she still made mistakes. she was a teenager; of course she did the wrong thing and messed everything. that was the only way teenagers grew, the only way they leant. you go wrong, you make sure you don't do the same thing again. in elliot's eyes, she hadn't done anything wrong. george was a mistake - it wasn't like elliot could have stopped him even if she wanted to. he may be a mistake, but elliot would never wish him away. she'd never have got rid of him. he was an actual person, a real, live, three month old person. a casey, just like her. george callum casey. he had her last name. some would say sleeping with your ex-boyfriend whilst his parents and your son were downstairs was a bad idea, a stupid idea. elliot wouldn't call it that. elliot would call it taking as much out of the situation as she possibly could. it had been too long since she'd been alone with cal like this. been too long since she'd actually done anything other than nod her head stiffly at him in the hallway at school. she wanted this. it was pretty damn obvious that she wanted this; she always got impatient when he took his time. always ended up moving too fast and surprising even herself, let alone cal, when he went purposefully slow, just to drive her crazy.

she didn't care if this was a bad idea. she didn't care if this would end up potentially ruining what friendship they already had. she didn't care about much right now; all she cared about was cal, and that they were in a room on their own, an no one knew it. no one would find out. only she and cal would know. not even gossip girl would be able to find out, unless she was rita skeeter in disguise. this would be totally and completely secret, and elliot loved that. she loved that she'd be the only one to know that this had happened, loved that no one would ever knew, simply loved that she was here. bad idea or not, she loved it. maybe her sense of good and bad was getting skewed due to prolonged exposure to cal. did she care? not right now, now. she changed around cal. she always had. she knew she always would. she became different, though she didn't always notice it. it was only when she was focussing when she noticed, when she was the only one in the room with him. but did it really matter? did it matter whether ellie acted differently around callum than she did around anyone else? she didn't think it did; she didn't even think of it as an issue. everyone acted differently around different people. elliot spoke to her parents in one way, her teachers in another, her siblings in another, her friends in another and cal in a different way. she acted and spoke differently around cal because it was obvious that she still liked him, obvious that she still had a thing for him that was the size of a very big thing. though she hoped it wasn't obvious to him; she didn't particularly want him knowing that she so wasn't over him.

the arguments that had followed elliot's announcement of her pregnancy were still going on. mr. casey seemed to think that because she was now a mother, she wasn't to be trusted, had to have her curfew shortened, wasn't allowed out at all on the weekend. he didn't seem to realise that he was punishing her for something that was completely out of her control, and when elliot reminded him of this ( or screamed it at him from the top of the stairs ) he simply retorted with something crude, or 'you had control of it from the very beginning,' which was more than likely a reference to elliot's firm decision to keep george. termination was something that elliot hadn't even considered. she wasn't the type of person who could go through with that. she simply couldn't do it. there was no way. according to her father, she wasn't the same any more, she wasn't elliot. she was a different person, who looked exactly like his youngest daughter, and sounded like her, and did everything she did. she didn't have that air of innocence any more. she was ruined. elliot didn't see it that way at all, but she'd given up trying to force her father to see that she hadn't changed for the worse and that there was nothing wrong with her at all. she was still elliot. still the shy, clumsy girl who didn't know what to say half the time. she still said no to drugs, drink, cigarettes and sex ( except for when it included a certain someone ). she was always home on time, she always did her homework, she did her chores without fail, she kept up her average of four point oh like she'd always done, but it felt too much like she was trying too hard. all this work and effort was going to catch up with her sooner or later. eventually she was going to crash.

she'd only crashed once before. when everything in her life just seemed to .. vanish. when she'd found out about cal. what he was doing. who he was doing. when he'd left her. everything just seemed to come to a standstill, as though time itself had stopped. she didn't even like thinking about it. even though it had been .. months .. she hated thinking about it. she tightened her grip around him, and pushed herself higher up on her tiptoes, paying barely any attention to the scents drifting through the gap underneath the door, her full attention on cal, as always. he always commanded her attention, and she always gave it to him. she always had. that was just how she was. she wasn't quite sure why - all of a sudden - she had been kicking tables in exasperation like she had a few seconds ago, or why she was taking the lead now and unbuttoning his belt. since when did elliot set the pace? she usually just sat back and let callum tell her what to do and let him decide how long it was going to take. she was never the dominant one; she didn't have the personality to be dominant. she was submissive, and she knew it, and part of her knew that that had to change, but another part aknowledged that that was just how she was, and if she changed that, then she wouldn't be elliot anymore. she'd be someone else. someone she didn't know. she could feel the smirk on his face through the kiss, and she couldn't help herself from responding and smiling back, still keeping her lips glued to his the whole time. she refused to let go. she wasn't going to, not until she got what she wanted. elliot was demanding when she was impatient. when she wanted something now, she literally meant now. she didn't mean in five minutes time, she meant right fucking now. this was the side of elliot that hardly any one knew existed; she'd only ever been like this around one person.

she stumbled backwards as she felt the hands on her sides applying pressure, still kissing him feverishly, the smile long wiped off her face as she concentrated on just staying as close to him as was humanly possible. she tripped over her own feet but righted herself almost immediately, tightening her grip on callum ever so slightly. she shivered at the sensation of his fingers on her skin, realising just how much she'd missed it, how much she'd missed how it made her feel. she loved it, she honestly did. it made her feel special; if there was ever a time where elliot began to understand why people said she was beautiful and special, this was it, when callum was touching her and she was so unbelievably happy she thought she might burst like an over-excited balloon. she could feel her heart beating an irregular rhythm inside her chest and her breathing become more and more erratic with each passing second, knowing it was because of cal, knowing he had everything to do with how she was feeling right now. she jumped slightly as she felt the cold wood of the door press against her back, but then relaxed after a second and pressed herself against it, preparing to pull callum as close to her as he could possibly get, when he beat her to it. he was all over her, in the best way possible, and she couldn't stop the grin that jumped up onto her face. she kissed him harder, if that were at all possible, surprising herslef yet again by attempting to deepen the kiss by slipping her tongue into his mouth, hating the few seconds that his hands were away from her. she felt so good right now that it was unbelievable. she just wanted to feel like that again; she wanted callum as close to her as he could possibly get, she didn't want him to pull away, and she just wanted to stay like that. it was ridiculous how much she fucking loved this.

she hadn't realised just how much she'd needed to breathe until he pulled away, but it didn't stop her from moving forwards automatically in an attempt to capture his lips again. she frowned lightly at the hands around her waist, already unbelievably frustrated from the lack of contact between herself and cal. she blinked and kept her grip around his neck tight, wrapping her legs around his waist so that she wouldn't fall. she ducked her head down in an effort to press a kiss to his collarbone, and only managed to get one in before she felt his lips on her neck, doing the same to her as she'd been planning to do to him. she let a breath she didn't realise she was holding out in a large whoosh, her eyes slipping closed languidly and stretching her neck out and to the side, wanting him to carry on, hating that they were against the clock, that they didn't have a lot of time. she didn't want this teasing, as good as it felt, as fucking amazing as it was. she just wanted cal. right. fucking. now. and teasing wasn't helping her impatience one bit. she scooted into the middle of the bed as she was placed on top of it, a hand finding its way behind his head and pulling it towards hers with surprising speed. her hips bucked involuntarily at the fingers beneath her waistband, and a small groan slipped through her lips. she kissed him harder, trying to let him know without speaking just how much she didn't enjoy being teased. fuck. she wanted him now.

[callum theodore rice]

i fucked it up. -_-

they needed more time. not that callum wasn't for heated, angsty, we-might-get-in-trouble-for-this sex. the imminence of getting caught was only turning him on more, no lies. hell, cal would have sex like this all the time... if it wasn't with ellie. but it wasn't supposed to be like this was it. she deserved a hell of a lot more than he gave her. albeit the secretive, angsty, desperate kind of love making was just as amazing, if not better than the first time he'd gotten it from her. so, honestly, there would be no reason why they coudn't do it all the time. but the fact of the matter was that this was the kind of sex callum had all the time. and therefore it reminded him too much of... well all the times before. it shouldn't be with ellie. ellie deserved so, so much more. like.. hmm, a good boyfriend for starters. let's see... being able to get through highschool without reproducing. she deserved to still have the love of her father, despite... his obvious tendency to be a mega douche. everyone deserved to be loved by thier father, given attention. hell, callum hadtwo of them. twice the attention. or... twice the motherly attention. he wasn't quite sure what to call that. but still. she deserved to have her first time be... after a marraige of some sort. because she was just that kind of girl. which also gave him reason enough to believe that they'd never actually be abe to stay together. george could have two dad's too. just... not gay ones. he'd never wish that upon his son. callum could never imagine himself in a marriage. but he could imagine ellie in one. not to mention a beautiful wedding gown. yes. he was weird. he knew this.

ellie just wasn't the kind of girl he'd imagine in this situation. getting frustrated... after being teased by a guy like callum. kicking a desk and then ending up with five minutes for a quickie before having to be downstairs with her son, two gay guys and aforementioned tease. he'd never imagine her purposefully in that position. and yet he couldn't ever imagine her with some other guy. yes, he'd imagine her happy in a marraige. he'd imagine her at her wedding. ( shut up, he does think to himself upon occasion ). he'd imagine her doing... you know, normal girl things. normal teenage girl things. not this. never this. because this was callums life. and therefore it wasn't fair to throw her into it. but he wouldn't complain at this given moment in time. no no no, they were too far gone. and chances were she'd just be pissed as all get out if he stopped now. talk about tease. he was one, sure, but stopping right now would probably win him some kind of award. simply for how worked up he knew elliot was. every time he found his chest pressed against hers he could feel her heartbeat. and it was racing. he'd managed to keep himself calm--if his dad's walked in, or tried to, he'd need to be calm--but that didn't change the fact that she was already on a speedy track downhill from this point.

almost to the point where he had to control her. he followed her, up to the middle of the bed, just before he heard a the smallest of groans from her lips. yes, it was small, but he needed to keep her quiet. doing it in secret and having his dad's know about it was one thing. but trying to do it in secret and being fucking obvious was another. though the groan elicited a more than satisfied smirk on his face as he pulled his lips from her neck, he still had to make sure she remembered to keep it hush, hush. he pulled himself up, bringing his face to her own and put a hand over her lips, stopping for a moment and looking down at her, "shhhhhhhhh.

[/b]" his free hand lowered on her body to the waistband of her pants and his fingers worked the button undone and started on the zipper. he leaned down, just because he loved teasing her, and kissed the top of his own hand, where her lips would be before pulling both his hand and his face away from hers as his fingers finally pulled the zipper undone. she'd more than likely be upset with that... but he didn't quite mind. she knew to be quiet. because for ellie... she'd be nervous as heck once they got downstairs. this he knew. he was so shy, so quiet, so good. the curiousity to find out if his dad's knew would be killing her. not to mention the hope that they didn't. she'd be a wreck and he'd love every minute of it. every. fucking. minute.

but this was the thing. callum loved all these little reactions. the acts of defiance against him. he loved just that little sign that she was just as eager as he when she worked quickly at his belt. he loved her kick at the desk. he loved her pout, her mini-rage. he loved everything. the way she made it known she was fucking upset with him whenever he teased her. he knew it pissed her off. but he did it because it pissed her off. those reactions were his turn on. so he'd keep it up. because he knew he'd always win. elliot never won with him. ok... right now could be considered a win. but if he'd initiated it it... wasn't really a win was it? gah, whatever. he knew it wouldn't be happening if the situation had happened back when they were together. because back then she was slightly different. something had changed about her now. she was like... a little more. a little more everything.

knowing full well this would tear her up, he hooked both hands back into the waist band of her pants--doing twice the work by hooking them into her UNDERGARMENTS D< as well--and tugged down slowly as he dipped his head down to her torso, kissing a bit of skin every few inches down to her belly button. by then he had her pants down to her knees and simply sat up, between her legs and tugged them off himself before bringing his lips back up to hers a smirk forcing it's way through the kiss. that... was enough of that though. they hardly had any more time for his teasing antics. so he let his body, lean to the side, his free hand tugging off his boxers and kissed her a moment more. he needed in her. he wanted in her. he hadn't been for so damn long. it felt wrong. because when they were together, just for the faintest of moments, it felt right. or... at least different than all the other damned girls he slept with. she was definitley different. hence why she was here. at his house. with his son. and he'd get her... right now.

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tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one one eight two.
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes WORK.

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU POSSESS
a beauty calm and clear.

she knew she had to calm down. she knew that she was far too excited, far too worked up. she had to sort herself out. the anticipation of what was about to happen, however, wasn't helping. cal being so close to her after months of staying as far away from her as possible wasn't helping. the fact that they didn't have a lot of time wasn't helping; in fact, knowing that she was against the clock and didn't have much longer than five minutes only made her want it more. it made her want cal just that much more. the idea that they could be caught at any given time, that they could be walked in on just made her want to speed this up even more. make him get on with it much faster than he currently was. she didn't want to get caught, but she couldn't deny the fact that the possibility that she could was doing strange things to her. making her feel .. odd. as though .. she liked it. liked the risk and liked taking chances that might end up badly, as in being caught. she just wanted him so much right that second, that she didn't even fully know what she should do. her fingers tangled in his hair slightly, making sure that he couldn't move away and that she could keep him as close to her as was humanly possible. she didn't want him to pull away. she liked him right where he was. she liked being able to feel him all over her and didn't want that to end. her eyes slid closed languidly, slowly, still attempting to at least make her breathing much more regular than it was right that second. she kissed him back, hard enough that it almost hurt, and tried to push herself as close as she could to him, pressing her body tightly against his.

she knew that the minute this was over, she'd go right back into being the same nervous, paranoid ellie who would be scared shitless that they'd been heard, that cal's dads knew what they'd been doing. she'd want to know exactly what they'd heard, if they'd heard anything at all. the curiosity was burning up at her; she both hated and loved that she could get caught at any second. she hated and loved that cal's parents could just walk in under the premise of bringing them down for dinner. she didn't want to get caught - no one ever wanted to get caught whilst having sex with their parents downstairs. but the idea that she could just made it that much more .. exciting. it was no surprise elliot was reacting the way she was. if ted and pierre rice knew what they were up to, elliot didn't even know if she'd be able to sit through the dinner with them. she didn't know how she'd look at them, talk to them, sit near them. she would - quite literally - burn up and resemble a tomato in her embarrasment. she'd be that nervous and jittery and so on edge that she wouldn't be able to do anything. she'd just sit there, and stare at her food. she'd come across as rude, and she wouldn't have meant to. elliot wasn't a rude person; elliot was one of the most polite people out there - it was just the way she'd been brought up. so for her to act rude was completely out of character. it wasn't elliot at all. she was going to be a nervous wreck. she knew it. she knew it, she had a feeling that cal knew it too, but there wasn't a chance that she was going to stop this. she'd waited too long - far, far too long to get this opportunity. she wasn't going to back out now. she wasn't going to let it pass by without even doing anything.

elliot would never have said when she'd woken up that morning, that her day consisted of storming out of her house in a frustrated blur, going to a store like alan bilzerian - somewhere she'd only ever gawped at whilst passing it by - bumping into cal and ending up here, at his house, with him, alone, in his room, having sex. she wouldn't have seen it coming. she'd have told someone to shut up if they'd said this was what she'd be doing, mainly because, with ellie, cal was a touchy subject. she didn't like talking about him with other people. she didn't know what would get back to her parents, and if her mom and dad found out that callum theodore rice was back in her life, she'd be grounded until she was thirty five with no chance of parole for good behaviour. what if mr. and mrs. casey called alice and asked to speak to her? it wasn't like elliot had explained to her where she was, what she was doing, why she'd lied. she'd call her, explain, try and get her to cover for her. elliot was .. never .. in these situations. never been in a situation where she was required to lie to her parents because she was doing something she shouldn't, because elliot simply wasn't like that. she did as she was told. never got into trouble. never did things she knew she shouldn't be doing. elliot was .. simply .. good. she was the ideal teenage daughter; she didn't rebel, didn't stay out late, did her homework, had a four point oh average .. with the exception of george, she'd never doing anything wrong. she was good. good .. with a weakness for bad people. bad influences. people she knew she shouldn't be around. cal.

she could feel his smirk, the self-satisfied smirk that always managed to make elliot do what he wanted, made her lose track of whatever she was thinking, made her want to kiss him so much that it almost hurt. he knew what that smirk did to her. it wasn't like she hid her reactions. she didn't exactly keep people from knowing what the hell was going through her mind. she frowned slightly as he pulled away, brow furrowing, and something of a pout returning to her lips, when she felt a hand over her mouth. she opened her eyes, and just stared up at him, irritated expression just falling off her face, and instead looked at him questioningly, wanting him, hating that he was stopping. he couldn't stop. no. she wouldn't let him. it wasn't fair. he couldn't do that to her again, he couldn't. she glared up at him, holding the expression for more than five seconds, for once in her life, resisting the temptation to act like a child and lick his hand in order to remove it from her face. she had to be quiet. okay, fine, she got that. she hadn't meant to make a noise. it wasn't like she wanted to get herself caught. it had just .. slipped out. uncontrollably. it wasn't like elliot had full control of herself right now; the fact that her heart was beating hard and fast and her breathing was far too shallow and quick for her to really be receiving any oxygen was proof of that. she'd be quiet. she would. it didn't stop her from glaring up at him indignantly, however. she got it. she was quiet. she'd stay quiet - or attempt to. she was completely aware of where his hand was, what it was doing, where it was going, and she hated that she couldn't make him move faster, couldn't speed this up. she felt her heart beat irregularly yet again as his hand decended lower .. and lower .. to the point where it felt as though her heart was going to beat out of her chest. teasing. she hated teasing. so much so that she was prepared to bite his bloody hand if he didn't get a move on.

she almost growled in frustration as he kissed his hand, almost let him know just how much she hated teasing and how much she wanted him right that fucking second. she was fed up of teasing. pissed off with it. didn't fucking want it. she hated teasing. teasing wasn't fun. not for her. she was never the teaser; always the teased. and maybe if she tried teasing once in a while, she might enjoy it almost as much as cal seemed to. but it wasn't like elliot found herself in positions like these a lot. alone. with a boy. in his room. elliot just .. wasn't like that. and it wasn't like she'd get this opportunity again. she stopped glaring as his hand finally moved, finally pulled away. about bloody time. elliot .. probably wouldn't have bitten him. licked him, maybe. she watched him as he moved, slid down her and pressed his lips to her skin, trying her hardest to stay quiet, trying to keep her mouth shut and not tell him to stop it, stop the teasing, just get fucking on with it. she raised her hips as she felt his hands slip into her waistband, curling her hands into fists as she realised he was pulling her UNDERGARMENTS D< off at exactly the same time. she stared up at the ceiling, clenching her jaw, wanting to scream and shout at him but at the same time, knowing she couldn't. she bit her lip, just for good measure, and felt her eyes slide closed as he tugged her pants off, the fact that she couldn't talk just getting to her. she'd never been in a situation where she had to be quiet. never. not like this. not talking was almost killing her. the minute she felt his lips against hers, she pulled him closer, kissing him back and ignoring the smirk on his face, probably there due to the fact that it was obvious how much cal was getting to her. obvious how worked up and frustrated and just generally pissed off she was. she didn't let go of him, not even when he attempted to pull his pants off. she simply followed him, knowing this wasn't fast enough, knowing that if he didn't hurry the fuck up that they'd get caught. she pulled away slightly, despite the fact that she'd have .. well, she wouldn't have let cal do the same to her. she pulled away, and pressed her lips to his neck, kissing her way up it, his jaw, until her lips eventually found his ear and she whispered one word, "p-please."

[callum theodore rice]

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shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

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darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
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it had been ridiculously too long since they'd been able to experience this. this. together. experience each other. if that didn't sound cheesy, lame or overused. it had been too long since they'd moved like this. practically as one unit, technically as two, as they always did when pressed against each other on a bed, in a hall, in a stall, on the floor, in the car. fucking anywhere. he'd be with her anywhere. though she only deserved this. a bed, as it were. wasn't this traditional? the old fashioned term for it: making love. the old fashioned rules... it happened in a bed. typically when your parents weren't down stairs with your child making you dinner and/or waiting for you to join them for it. preferably when you had more time, typically after marriage. all those adverbs. those shoulda's, coulda's and woulda's. but when it all came down to it, all callum was good for was a five minute quickie in a more than inconvenient time. hell, he could have at least chosen a different girl. but no. he had to go for the girl he'd already gotten pregnant. though we've been over this millions of times and there was just no escaping elliot casey. it wasn't like she was extremely enticing, sensual or wild. she was just elliot. but to callum she was like scoring the biggest size of stuffed animal at the fair. only he hadn't won her. he just got her every once in a while because he cheated. yes, callum cheated to get elliot. he was fully aware of this. and she had to be at least a little aware. he knew this much: she hated teasing. and that was just one of the many things he used whilst cheating to achieve this feat. her on his bed, naked and beneath him. and what a feat indeed.

and how in hell did that work anyway? out of all the girl's he'd done it with, elliot casey just had to be the one that had to go and get pregnant. considering most of the girl's callum went after were typically the type who slept around anyway and therefore the type that took birth control. and then there was the fact that he'd slept with elliot more than any other girl he'd slept with. but still. still. out of all of them, the one that could be the most inconvenient to impregnate was the one that he did, indeed, impregnate. the one whose father would be most pissed off. the one who'd be the least possible to break himself off from. the one who he'd practically forced the innocence out of. and there it was again. the feeling that he'd taken ellie from her 'daddie'. that he'd ruined that relationship. god, the guilt never quit. you'd think that with all of that building up inside of him he'd at least slow it down a bit with her. he'd at least try and stop a little more. but honestly.. she was just as much to blame as he was. she didn't push him away. she didn't fight it. though he prided himself on the fact that he was somewhat irresistible. if only to elliot. seeing as how he'd lost some of his luster after she came along. he even saw it in himself. callum felt less appealing. lord knew if that was the case for him that it might as well be the case for the rest of the female population. it was funny how that worked, anyway. how someone could just sneak right on in and tear you the fuck apart--or in cal's case, slowly take apart what he was. and yet that same person could be the person to put you back together again. or... make him who he was when she needed him that way. who he normally was. epiphany. callum's deep thought for the day.

but in all honesty that wasn't what needed to be the focus right now. right now elliot and the fucking task at hand needed to be taken care of--no play on words what so ever. he was at the point where if he didn't get some soon he'd have to make a quick stop in the bathroom before even thinking about heading down stairs. and if she didn't get it... well he figured she'd probably be pissed, he couldn't blame her. this would be a ridiculous amount of foreplay for a whole lot of nothing. so this was it. he was literally about to go right on with it, no and's if's or but's about it. pleased enough with the fact that she was clinging to him, seeing as how it made him smug, confident... cocky. but then she had to go and mutter that word. that word. please. it wasn't even that deep of a word. it wasn't that intense or heavy. it wasn't insinuating anything or saying a world of different things all at once. it was just one word. a plea, if you will. please. like she was fucking begging him. like she needed him inside of her just as much as he felt he needed to be inside of her. that... slowed him down a bit. just about ready to go ahead and do it and he pulled back to look at her, for what could have been seconds but seemed like forever--callum was almost expecting a knock on the door in that silence. but none came. he brought a hand to the side of her face, more in her hair than on her actual cheek and pressed his lips back down on hers, the kiss slower, more passionate. this one said something. this one meant something. he wasn't fucking sure what. but he knew it did. this wasn't an 'i want you' kiss. this was an 'i need you' kiss. a please kiss.

he continued conveying this message to her via the medium of a kiss. their lips locking like digits, entering the code to a safe. a safe holding who knew what, but that didn't matter. cause they sure as fuck knew the code, and what would anyone do if they knew the password? they'd fucking use it to see what ever was inside. that's what any smart person would do. and these two did it like it was their job. in the midst of this intense exchange of thoughts he decidedly guided and pushed himself into her, the action slow, almost gentle. and he allowed himself to glide in and out a few times in the span of a minute or two, more than likely. before something in the back of his mind reminded him that they didn't have all day for him to make this a miniature escapade of sorts. they hardly had another three minutes. which, as soon as it went through his mind, hit the rest of his body and the movement quickened dramatically. he fought his own urge to make a noise through the effort in which he held his lips to hers, his fingers now grasping onto her hair like it'd be enough to save her if she fell from something high. like a life line. his other arm an easy support, pressed to her side. god it felt so. fucking. good. just like he'd expected it too. except better. she was always better. christ, she was the best. there had never been competition. fuck, he needed to figure out what was going on in his mind. only she made that a bit difficult. she always did.

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tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one nine nine six.
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes awkward, much?

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[elliot jordan casey.]

YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU POSSESS
a beauty calm and clear.

she’d never been extremely exciting. she’d never been amazing or different or out there like all those other girls. she just kept to herself, shut herself off from everyone else except for alice and a few other select people. hardly anyone knew what she was really like. not a lot of people ever paid enough attention to her to want to know what she was really all about. she was a private person; she kept almost everything to herself. she didn’t gossip, she didn’t spread rumours, she didn’t tell anyone else’s secrets, she was one of the nicest and uncorrupted girls in the entire school, save for the fourteen year old freshmen who didn’t have a clue what they were doing and giggled at the jocks in great big gaggles in the middle of the hallway. she’d always just been extremely average. one of those girls you know the name of but that’s about it. you don’t know her birthday or her age or what she likes to drink on a daily basis or the route she takes home. you don’t know what she goes through every time she walks through that front door, what’s going through her mind when her father appears in the living room doorway and orders her to go and sort that child of hers out. you don’t know just what exactly elliot feels like telling him, you don’t know what she’s half tempted to make up just to piss him off. she’d lie to him just to annoy him, she’d pretend she did things that she knew she shouldn’t do just so that she could irritate him. she could tell him she’d just come in from selling e, that she’d just finished having sex with someone down the side of the house, that she was going to go out tonight to a party at someone’s house, and the parents weren’t going to be there. she’d want to say that, but she wouldn’t. because she’s just not like that. she’s not that type of girl. that kind of girl is interesting and exciting and exotic. that’s not elliot.

elliot just .. exists. she’s the kind of girl you know fuck all about. the only people in the world who knew what ellie was honestly like were adam, alice, and callum. they were the only people she’d ever been herself around. the only people who knew what the hell went through her head – most of the time. around them she was quiet, shy, cute, adorable, naïve, innocent, hyper, impatient .. all the things that she usually wasn’t. people didn’t expect her to like the things she liked. didn’t expect her to be any different at all. expected her to like .. the good guys. the guys that were like her. that would treat her right. that wouldn’t fuck around and mess with her head and her heart. the ones that her parents would approve of. they expected her to be a right little daddy’s girl. they expected her to just do as she was told with no questions asked – though, admittedly, she did do the last one. they didn’t expect her to want the bad boys. the ones she knew were wrong for her. the ones that could potentially ruin everything that made ellie ellie, the ones that would most rile up her father. they didn’t think she’d be as clever as to know that the guys she chose would piss off her father, that being with him would result in arguments. ellie knew exactly what she’d been doing. she knew what her father had thought about callum rice and so she’d just carried on dating him regardless. she’d done it to spark a reaction. she’d done it to force him to interfere. and he hadn’t. just a few warnings, a couple of sharp slaps .. and that was it. he left her to it. he gave up on her. told her that she was pretty much dead to him. that he wouldn’t help when it all went to shit. she was managing just fine on her own. she didn’t need her dad. they hadn’t gotten along amazingly well even before cal arrived, before elliot got pregnant and everything changed. he just .. hadn’t cared about her. and if he didn’t care about her then she sure as hell didn’t give a fuck about him. she’d do what she wanted regardless of what he thought.

like this, for example. this was more than enough to get her grounded until she was thirty five. did she care? hah. no. elliot liked it far too much to care about what the consequences would be. she wanted it too damn much to even consider caring. and she knew she only wanted it this damn much because he’d made her want it; he’d been teasing her all day. name one person who could resist that. name one person who could resist callum rice. she knew she couldn’t. she knew she’d always do what he said, what he asked, because that was just how she was, and because he had some sort of hold over her. some sort of power on her that he could use and manipulate to his will. if he wanted her to do something .. she would. no questions asked. she’d always been like that. she hadn’t even considered being any different. though the begging was new. she hadn’t begged before, and bear in mind that the only person elliot had ever had sex with was callum. he was the only person she’d ever done this with, though she knew the same couldn’t be said about him. even though she knew he’d slept with other people whilst they had still been together, she still couldn’t say no. there was something about him that she couldn’t refuse, and she couldn’t figure it out. he was hers, and she was his, though .. she’d probably never say that out loud. it was more than just a bit .. weird. she blinked and frowned in a mixture of both confusion and frustration as he pulled away, just looking up at him with her big, brown eyes that were probably screaming at him even if she herself wasn’t. she blinked at him again and licked her lips anxiously, the same old nerves slamming into her like they had every time they’d done this. she’d never been overly confident; sex was one this she was especially vulnerable about – she didn’t think she was good enough. not for someone like cal, who had sex like she drank water. she took a deep breath in at the hand in her hair, still just watching him, feeling almost self-conscious about the whole thing. why was he just looking at her? was he trying to get them both into trouble? they’d get caught if he just stayed there staring for much longer, and .. being caught in flagrante was not something elliot would appreciate. she’d end up staying in his room all night, far too embarrassed to even begin to think about facing cal’s dads.

elliot’s a perceptive girl; she knows when something means more than it appears to and when it doesn’t. she knew without a doubt that this meant something more than cal probably intended it to, but she wasn’t sure what that something was. she had no clue. she just knew it was there. it was there and it wasn’t going away. she kissed back softly, replying to him, conveying that same message back to him through her own kiss and hoping to fucking god that she wasn’t wrong, that she hadn’t just made the biggest mistake she ever could have made and picked up on something that wasn’t even there. what if it wasn’t there? what if it was just her, imagining? it was no secret she wanted that something to be there. she had no idea whatsoever what cal wanted. he was unpredictable. even she couldn’t figure out what was going on in his head. she continued kissing back, regardless of what could happen if she was wrong, thinking that if this was all she was ever going to get, then she was going to take it. it had been far too long since she’d ever been in a situation like this – she was going to take what she could get with both hands. she felt her breath catch in her throat as he slid inside her, an arm wrapping itself around his neck slowly, pulling him closer to her, refusing to let go. it felt so damn good. she’d .. pretty much forgotten how it had felt. she raised her hips to meet his each time he moved back inside her, still kissing him, not wanting to let him go no matter how much she liked being able to breathe. air .. wasn’t important right now. it was just herself and cal in their own little bubble. everything else could go the hell away because elliot wasn’t emerging until .. this was finished. she kissed him just that little bit harder, taking dominance somewhat and hoping that whatever she was doing, she was doing it right. she was struggling to keep herself quiet, so .. that’s gotta be a good thing .. right?

she found it hard to stay kissing and concentrate on what was happening and keeping herself quiet at the same time. she couldn’t help herself; when cal sped up, a quiet, strangled moan forced itself out. she moved back against him, so close already and they’d barely just started. she could feel it building; the tension just below her stomach, growing in intensity until it was almost painful. but it was the good kind of pain, the pain you didn’t really mind, the one that, after a while, you started to like. she shifted her hips slightly, moving them back as quickly as she could against his, acutely aware of the hand in her hair as though it were keeping her there. she took a sharp breath in again as the tension almost peaked, screwing her eyes closed to prepare herself, keeping her lips glued to his so she wouldn’t give them away. and then .. that was it. her breath left her in one great whoosh as she peaked, hands curling into fists and arching her body as far as she possibly could into his. it felt so damn good. she’d just forgotten how much.