( IF I HAD BEEN THERE )

[callum theodore rice]

-----------------------------------------------
shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

[/size]
darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
-----------------------------------------------------------

for a few, quite brief moments, he felt all right with where he was. he was content with what he was doing, his current location, the sights he was taking in with his eyes and the sounds his ears were picking up. it was all pleasing to him, it all fit him well, it all 'went well with his soul'. however the fuck you wanted to say it, that was how it was. he was happy, more or less. callum theodore rice was happy, content, almost giddy. now, think with me for a moment. where on earth would a boy like callum rice find himself in such a state? what sights, sounds and smells would be necessary to make all of this come true? it might throw some of you off your feet. it might distort your currently apathetic facial expression into one of surprise or doubt. why you ask? well, because the one place that might do all these things for callum, the one pleace he felt oddly, 'at home' in is a place some poeple might pay money to see him in. it's a place where some people might think to see his fathers, pierre and teddy. and that's because that one place is the men’s clothing department in one of boston's most elite and expensive shops: alan bilzerian. never heard of it? look it up.

and the best part was callum's one and only traveling companion, his father ted's company credit card. the limit to what he could purchase in a store such as this was unseen. jackets falling in around three thousand dollars. scarves and hats at around four hundred dollars. jeans somewhere in between. unbelievable thread counts. bizarre, yet fashionable colors. unique, daring styles. sometimes he was just go to one of these shops and buy and buy and buy. there was typically no end to the purchases he could make. ted never scolded him for his obsession. the company seemed ok with paying for it. and his build left him with endless possibilities. he wasn't too big, nor too small. nor ridiculously muscular, nor frail. he was just right. almost built like a model. but the problem was, he'd spend all of this money, but this model would never walk the runway in his latest fashions. many of the things he found himself paying for, put in comparison to that of the students at his schools clothing choices, just didn't match. they were either too out there, too flashy, or too feminine. sure he wanted attention, but he figured all of those things screamed gay. which was the last thing he wanted his wardrobe to be screaming. yeah, his school fashion was a severely toned down version of what mister alan bilzerian was selling. very, very toned down.

if we were going to be honest, callum hadn't the slightest clue why he loved fashion so much--and to set the record straight, he'd rather be designing than modeling. it was just a habit, something he'd taken an interest in at a young age. it could've been that, growing up, he had two fashion conscious males dressing him every morning. callum knew that he should match, he knew his clothes shouldn't be ridiculously baggy or tacky. and...it must've grown from there. the boy had subscriptions to several major fashion magazines. he had notepads upon notepads of designs, some not so hot and others not too bad. he found himself appraising nearly every teenagers clothing as he passed them in the halls. and sometimes, though not too often, he'd slip the teachers discreet comments as to their wardrobe decisions. he loved fashion. everything about it. and can you just...try and put yourself in his position and see how fucking difficult that would be a boy of his age? of his social status and position? especially one who wanted to remain 'heterosexual', simply for the fact that so far he figured he was. and so far anything homosexual about his life seemed to only give him grief. not that he was about to blame pierre and ted for everything he hated about his life. because he wouldn't, he loved them. they were his parents, how could he not? but still, they respected his wish not to make it too obvious to any of his friends or around school again. the incident in the fucking fourth grade was enough. that's right, fourth grade. fourth grade and kids were already teasing because callum had two daddies. if you can believe it, there were even parents who complained to the administration at the school for callum's dad's. they thought pierre and ted 'flaunting' their disgusting nature was not something that thier children should be exposed to. as a result both of callum's fathers weren't allowed to be at the school together at any time. does that explain it all better to you?

so, more or less, callum was terrified of the whole deal. god forbid he ever become gay. he didn't want people to suffer for him. he didn't want to suffer. so the moral of this story? callum kept his little fashion obsession on the down low. he didn't make it known. and on top of that he tried to keep everything about his life out of the high schoolers hands. the less they knew they less they could use against him. in fact the only person who'd ever really known him was elliot. ellie, as it were. and even after she'd known pretty much everything there was to know about him, he pushed her away. he didn't want to give her the oppurtunity to hurt him. even though she seemed like such an unlikely candidate for such an offense. she was too sweet, too kind...but that was besides the point. any trust callum might have had for anyone was destroyed back in middle school. the only two people who could make it on that list were his dad's. plain and simple.

he rifled excitedly through rack after rack, bound and determined to leave this store with something, whether he'd wear it or not. perhaps he'd pull out the camera at home and make pierre take pictures of them, he could put it all in a portfolio and send it to a couple of art schools. yes, yes, that sounded perfect. thisl, of course, had been the plan now for years. however every time he got to the mailing stage something failed. in fact, the boy had a small stack of sealed envelopes in the top of his closet. something was holding him back. he as afraid of being mocked, perhaps. he was afraid of being told he wasn't at all good enough to attend such schools. to complete his dream. failure might just tear him apart. and he didn't want to end up living with pierre and ted for the rest of his godforsaken life. though they've made it very clear that it was all right with them. god, those men were too good for a kid like callum. he used and abused them without much concern. whether he loved them or not. "hell-lo,

[/color]" his hands brushed over a nice soft material, though it was black it stole his attention almost immediately. "fuck, that's nice." and it was, it was probably a lot nicer than what most teenagers these days would consider nice. how could he tell? well, one, he had an eye for these thigns. and two...just a glimpse at the tag... "one thousand big ones," he made something of a whistling sound and grinned brilliantly. perfect. his other arm was already drapped with a couple other pieces he'd found just a few moments before and, adding this new tee-shirt to the small pile he turned and headed for the dressing rooms, secretly hating the fact that all of the dressing rooms were directly across the store from the men's section--the section he was currently in.

unable to wipe the smile from his face he cleared the last row of racks, mostly ties and other such accessories and started to cross the tiled walkway that seperated each section from the other. of course his attention was downward on the newest addition to his pile--he didn't have to pay attention to where he was going, he'd spent enough time here as it was--so he hadn't been expecting the girl coming from the opposite direction and therefore collided with her about halfway through the small walkway. he didn't drop anything, thankfully, but he was a bit stunned by the actual fact, "for christs sake could you watch where you're going?[/color]" oh callum, always the charmer.

[/blockquote][/size]-----------------------------------------------
[/center]

tagged miss elliot jordan casey
words one four three nine
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes omg callum. >_>

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU

[/size]
CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center]

ellie blinked at george, just staring at him and watching his chest rise and fall as he drew in breath and let it out, smiling slightly to herself as he twitched in his sleep. she was being too protective, she knew she was, but she couldn't help it. she was only sixteen, and her son was already three months old. three months .. they'd gone by so fast, she'd barely noticed them. three months of sleepless nights, of clearing up baby sick and nappies, and three months of constant whispers every time she walked down the school hallway. ellie was the school sweetheart, she wasn't meant to get knocked up and have a baby with her now ex-boyfriend .. she was cute, sweet, intelligent, smart .. ellie did AP math and chemistry, she took senior classes when she was only a junior. she did her homework on time, she never missed a deadline, she used to write for the school newspaper, she was the girl everyone could trust with a secret. if ellie ever wanted to change the way she was and become a total bitch, she had enough dirt on everyone in the school to ruin every single person's reputations, but she wasn't like that. she was cute, sweet, not a bitch. she didn't have it in her to be cruel, she didn't understand people who felt the need to spread lies and gossip twenty-four / seven. she didn't see the point in gossip, none of it was true - well .. except for the rumours about ellie's baby's daddy, but that was fact .. everyone knew how involved she and callum had been, everyone knew that they'd been incredibly close, closer than even ellie was to her best friend.

and that was why their break up had confused ellie so much. she had no idea what she'd done, no idea what thought was running through his head, nothing. but .. she was okay with it. she might be so hurt it hurt to breathe sometimes and being around him only made that worse .. but she was fine with it. she wasn't about to turn into one of those girls who relied on having a boyfriend to stay alive. ellie had managed so far on her own. she was fine. she was good. she was okay. yes, so she'd been better. yes, so she'd been happier. but the point was that she was fine and she didn't rely on callum being around her every second of the day. she didn't know how she'd do it if he were around constantly; she knew he didn't know how confused and conflicted and hurt and upset and downright happy she was when he was around. she didn't want him to know. she .. was fine with being .. civil. civil was okay. civil hurt so badly. but she wasn't going to do anything. no. not a thing.

staring at the white walls of george's bedroom wasn't doing anything to help her. her mom hadn't gotten around to painting the walls yet, which was understandable, jordan elizabeth casey was a busy woman, and helping her youngest daughter take care of her baby was only adding to the extensive list of things jordan had to do. ellie could have asked marissa to help her - marissa was twenty-four and already had two of her own children, george would have fit in with michael and tristan easily - but marissa lived in colorado, two thousand, six hundred and sixty five miles away. ellie couldn't bear to be that far away from george, not even for a second. rebecca could have helped .. but she was twenty-one with a live in boyfriend who did not under any circumstances like children. he was an only child; he'd grown up on his own and had grown to dislike children because they took the attention away from him. .. or, well. that was jordan's view on him. rebecca was also a journalist who was trying to work her way up in the world. george wouldn't help. and she was in new york. two hundred and twenty miles. still too far away. and adam .. ellie didn't know where adam was. her mom had said he was away with a male stripper and someone called rachelle. ellie hadn't asked about him much after that.

she bit at her lip and checked her cell for what felt like the fiftieth time in the last five minutes, not entirely sure what she was waiting for. a text? possibly. a phone call? more likely. but off who? the one person ellie wanted to call was the one person she couldn't talk to. not in her parent's house, at least. jordan and edward casey didn't approve of callum rice. of course they didn't; he'd had a child with their youngest daughter and then broken up with her, what parent would like him for that? ellie had been all but forbidden from calling him; her parents even monitored her cell phone now. they checked to see if she'd called him or texted him .. but they clearly didn't know that ellie either saved them to a different folder or deleted them straight after. not that ellie and callum texted each other a lot. just .. the odd one, here and there. she slipped her phone back into her pocket and glanced at george one last time, before standing up and quietly slinking out of the room into hers across the corridor. she grabbed the jacket lying across her bed, and her purse, and ran down the stairs softly, pushing her feet into her shoes. she glanced in the living room, blinking at her father's sleeping form before grabbing the remote control and turning the tv off. ellie and her dad didn't see eye to eye, and that irked her, somewhat. she could hear noises from the kitchen, but didn't want to go in there. ellie knew her mom would ask her who she was meeting and whether callum would be there. the truth was, ellie didn't know who she was meeting or where she was going .. callum might be there, he might not. she didn't know. she hoped he would be.

"mom? i'm .. going to school for a bit. homework to do." she said, backing towards the door and slipping out of it before she could be asked anything else. she ran down the path and got into her car, starting the engine and hoping to god she had her licence with her in her purse. she hadn't gone out driving on her own before, it had always been with her mom. she just sat .. and spaced. next thing she knew, she was pulling up into the parking lot of the local mall. shopping. shopping would be .. fine. that would make her feel better. just .. a book or something. ellie wasn't the most well off person in the world. the money callum's fathers paid towards george's child support went towards all the things ellie needed for her son, and the rest towards a college fund. ellie could always dip into her own college fund, but all transactions - whether ingoing or outgoing - went through her father. she wasn't even sure if the PIN number was the same.

she ended up in alan bilzerian. no idea why, it wasn't like ellie could actually afford any of this stuff. this was way out of her depth. but the clothes were so nice. she wandered into the women's section, letting her fingers trail across the stupidly priced t-shirts and abnormally high thread counts. why would any one need an eight hundred thread count t-shirt? why? ellie could achieve the same effect with one of her own shirts at home. maybe she should leave and go to target and buy a pastel yellow shirt and try .. she could open up her own store - alan bilzerian clothes, but affordable. .. no, there had to be something illegal about that. highly priced clothes stores always depressed her .. she could never afford any of the pretty things - the smallest pair of earrings she could find usually cost around thirteen dollars .. way more than ellie would be willing to pay.

she picked up a dress and stared at it, fiddling with the price tag, trying not to feel ill at the number of zeros following that two. it was her size, and downright gorgeous .. she just couldn't afford it. she'd .. try it on .. it'd be okay .. she wasn't going to get attached to it. it wasn't like ellie had much need for a knee-length, black dress with turquoise embroidery and sequins. ellie had never needed a dress like that. her pink and yellow floral dresses had served her fine over the last few years. she pulled it off the rack and held it against herself, wondering if she'd be able to pull the strapless look off. she'd never tried .. but maybe she should. maybe she needed to change things. she didn't know. she looked around for the dressing rooms and spotted them on the other side of the store. she didn't even know why she was even trying this on, there was no way ellie could afford it. there wasn't even anywhere she could wear it. she just wanted it.

staring at her reflection in the mirror was only depressing her. she wanted this dress so much, but she couldn't have it. .. well. she did have her dad's black american express card .. but that was strictly for emergencies .. like if she ran out of gas when she was driving back from somewhere and had no money, or .. ellie couldn't think of another example but she was pretty sure she couldn't pass off a dress like this as an emergency. she peered out through the curtains of the dressing room, wondering if she could quickly run out and grab a jacket or something to cover her shoulders. she felt like she was half dressed like that. she looked around, and found an employee, grabbing them and forcing them to sit in her stall whilst she ran out. she'd left her cell and her ipod in the hidden compartment under the driver's seat in her car, so she wasn't scared about those being stolen. she ran through the changing rooms and back towards the women's section .. but tripped and fell into someone along the way.

"for christs sake could you watch where you're going?"

ellie had fallen over, and so had to crane her neck to see whom she'd just annoyed. "i .. um .. i'm sorry, really. i just .. i was in a hurry because i shoved an employee in my dressing room and- oh h .. hello callum." oh, there's the awkward ellie. -.-

TAGGED: callum theodore rice<3
WORDS: one thousand, eight hundred & fourteen.
LYRICS: hot mess by ashley tisdale, wtf.
BANNER: sparkly freakout @ caution.
TEMPLATE: ooooh me. [:
NOTES: mandaaa D: i'm sorry this took me forever >_< and it's crapola o.o i apologiseee. ilu. and callum's omg <3 ilhim [:

[callum theodore rice]

-----------------------------------------------
shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

[/size]
darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
-----------------------------------------------------------

why were people so goddamn stupid? really, was it too much to ask just to have some awareness about you when you were walking through a store? callum hated that. he hated people who bumped shoulders or elbows, figuring a simple pardon or 'excuse me' would suffice. in his book, if you were too oblivious or ignorant to realize that a certain movement of yours would affect someone else, then you were just dumb. how much effort does it take to look in front of you every few steps? to glance side to side before going through a walkway? to watch the ground for holes or potential hazards? people who threw something that accidentally hit you were just idiots. if you are not one hundred percent certain that you will make the shot, don't take the shot. especially guys who liked to spit those disgusting balls of mucus on the ground. assholes. yeah, callum was a guy too, but it was still disgusting. he'd never been one to do that shit. no one wanted to talk on a path and accidentally step in some assholes mucus. no one wanted to see it flying out a car window, or hear the sounds a man makes before launching the projectile. these were all big no no's. and if you intended on doing them with callum around...then you're basically asking to be bitched out. cause he will, in all senses of the phrase, bitch you out.

and it wasn’t like callum was completely perfect himself. he bumped into people. he accidently hit people with things. or not so accidentally. he did things that more than likely ticked off a person or two. but did he care? absolutely fucking not. he had manners and etiquette when he wanted to have manners and etiquette. which wasn’t too often. perhaps he’d be kind and orderly with his fathers from time to time. actually, as a matter of fact, callum was only kind to his fathers. and those he particularly liked. even the girls he planned on fucking, or the people he expected to get things from got the worst treatment possible from him. only because he knew he’d get what he wanted. be it because of his looks—c’mon, let’s not kid ourselves, callum is a fucking nice looking guy—his money—easily flaunted at every opportunity he gets, or simply known by the fact that everyone knows the rich gay couples kid—or his manner of speech. amazingly enough callum has mastered the ‘talk like a complete asshole but get exactly what you want all at the same time’ way of speech. needless to say he had no worries when it came to ticking people off. he had his dad’s. they’d always back him up.

back to now.

this…female, as he’d discerned due to the pitch of the voice, was a perfect example of what we were talking about here. the epitome of what callum hated. laying there on the ground trying to come up with some dumb excuse as to why she bumped into him. something about a hurry and a dressing room. it didn’t matter to cal. no matter what she came up with she was still ridiculously oblivious to his existence which was two strikes in one. one, he was callum. he liked attention and therefore was pissed off by those who didn’t give it to him/didn’t even notice his presence. two, she wasn’t watching where she was going. whatever she had been on her way to do just a few moments previous was obviously much more important than whatever callum had to do, or, for that matter, anyone else in the store. of course, he didn’t recognize the voice upon first hearing it, because…well, he just didn’t worry his mind with those things. such thoughts as, ‘haven’t i seen her somewhere before’ or ‘i know that voice’ hardly crossed his mind. especially when he had something else to be thinking of. like the garments in his arms for instance. callum was too fucking busy making sure she hadn’t been carrying a drink and accidentally spilled it over the potentials to sit in his closet, or the clothing he was wearing now. after a few seconds of however, he quickly figured nothing bad had happened to himself or the clothing in his arms and therefore there was nothing to get feisty with this girl over. she was still defending herself however. he dismissed her with a hard look, his eyes not even bothering to glance in her direction, a wave of his hand and a short, “whatever.”

[/color]

and, well, after that callum had every intention of going on his merry way. there was no point sticking around talk to her, or fighting her on the issue. it had happened, yes, and normally callum was fight back, yes, but right now he had other more pressing things to attend to. and he was a bit overjoyed by these things, so he hadn’t the will in him to stick around. hell, he’d even taken another step foreword, across the walkway, when her voice rang in his ears once more. this time, a new wave of familiarity and grief hung over him as the tone ended. the voice was soft, surprised…and yet hinted at something deeper. of course, not things that callum noticed. all he noticed was that the voice knew who he was. h .. hello callum.[/color] with something of a disgusted and rather annoyed look on his face the boy turned, forcing his eyes to appraise the individual who apparently knew his name. despite the fact that they could easily be someone he knew from when he was younger, in which case that someone could easily be someone prepared to mock him. and they’d have the proper ammunition as well. hell, callum was standing in a severely pricy store holding an armload of clothes that might be considered ridiculously suicidal if worn at the school he attended. however his eyes feel upon a less likely candidate. someone he knew from a while back yes, but not at all someone capable of aiming well-thought out jests in his direction. not someone who would even be considered capable of thinking of any at all. someone far too sweet to even think about harming anyone in that way. someone that immediately brought a look of delight to his face. “elliot.”[/color]

from there the look diminished. he was far too conscious of the entire situation to even think about letting himself go. immediately he looked up, seeking out any potential hazards. and, lacking in success, he finally returned his gaze to her, the smile from a few moments previous returning, in a somewhat toned down manner.

elliot jordan casey.

where do we even begin?

we don’t. right now…callum didn’t even want to start thinking about this. not here, not now. he was having such a good time. but… something… god, something wasn’t letting him go. “i’m sorry. i….”[/color] he set his armload of clothing on a rack nearby and helped her up, though the action was border lining actually getting her up himself. despite all they’d been through, and how much he just wanted to be rid of it all—for his safety alone—he couldn’t help but feel a strangely intense and real obligation to take care of her. protect her. in a sense, to him, they were still together. though he’d tried to make it painfully clear that he wanted nothing to do with her. it was complicated yes. but real all the same. he confused himself so damn much. “shit, i should’ve watched where i was going. i’m sorry i said that i…”[/color] he found himself brushing her off, her sides, her arms, anything he could get his hands on without looking like a complete freak. his eyebrows furrowed in a slightly disgusted manner for a moment before his mind registered what his eyes were taking in. and, yes callum theodore rice, caught himself with his mouth hanging slightly agape. though, it wasn’t in any manner that might be obvious to the usual onlooker. but it happened, and it was a true, honest to god reaction to what he was seeing. callum had always been attracted to elliot, of course, who wouldn't. she was beautiful, inside and out, though most people only saw the out. callum considered himself one of the lonely fortunates to be able to experience the real elliot, though he figured he didn't deserve it. and she hardly saw it, she hardly saw what he saw. she literally was something else. and he was more attracted to her than he could possibly say he'd been attracted to any other woman...or rather, girl. hell, he'd even found himself having sexual interactions with more tan brunettes--leaning towards black--than any other type of female...but he hadn’t quite seen in her in a dress of this…nature before. so yes, he was staring. and no, he didn’t particularly care. she looked beautiful. gorgeous. almost exactly the way he’d left her. and then a new realization hit him…

she couldn’t afford this.

almost as quickly as his surprise and instant awe came it left and he looked at her in a concerned manner, looking for something of a hint towards change. perhaps she’d gotten a job? become famous? her father moved up in his line of business? no. he would’ve know about all of this. he watched her a moment more before opening his mouth to speak, “what’re you doing here, ellie?”[/color]

[/blockquote][/size]-----------------------------------------------
[/center]

tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one five eight seven
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes it's yucky. D: but i will get my muse back. D< and when i do i will make beautiful and perfectly well thought out posts. D: <3333333
ilthem. <3

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU

[/size]
CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center]

she wondered if callum actually knew what he did to her, if he knew what kind of affect he had on her every time she saw him or every time he was close to her, or every time she saw him and george together, or .. ellie was in deep, she knew she was, and there was no way she could get out. she didn't know if she even wanted to get out; if she got out it meant that she'd never see cal again, and that wasn't something ellie wanted to have to deal with. she loved him, of course she did, how could she not? things had ended badly between them, with ellie getting more hurt than cal, or maybe their break up had hurt cal but he'd just been better at hiding it, she didn't know. she just didn’t understand why things had ended in the way that they had, and she wasn’t even sure if callum himself knew. she knew plenty of people around boston knew about their break up, she knew they had their own theories and their own reasons, but ellie was still finding it hard to believe that she and cal weren’t together anymore. in her head, she was still his, she was still his ellie and no one else could change that. she loved him and he loved her and everything was fine. but the reality was so, so much different. the reality hurt. in reality she knew that they weren’t together and she knew that there was no chance of them ever getting back together. she should move on, she knew it, she couldn’t just keep moping after him; it wasn’t like he was ever going to notice and take her back. she had to move on, for both their sakes. and for george.

she didn’t regret anything that had happened between them, not even for a second. george was a mistake, yes, but she loved him possibly even more than she loved cal and she’d never give him up. she couldn’t. he was her baby; she was heavily attached. how had it been three months already? almost this time last year, she and cal had broken up. and back then this knowledge would have hurt her so much that she’d spend all day huddled underneath her duvet, crying to herself and clinging her secret teddy bear that she’d only ever told one person about. these days it still hurt her, it hurt her so much more than she let on. she tried to appear as though she wasn’t broken and cut up and so unbelievably upset about the whole ordeal, but she knew that things wouldn’t stay that way forever. she knew that sooner or later she’d crack, and someone would see just how messed up elliot jordan casey really was. she couldn’t let people see just how broken she was because of this .. she couldn’t let cal see how much she was hurting, because she didn’t want him feeling guilty. ellie was a lovely girl in so many ways, and she hated feeling upset because of something she did, and the idea that she could actually hurt someone because of something she said or did was unbearable. so she kept it to herself .. poured it out on a secret blog where she didn’t even go by her own name, and changed cal’s and george’s so no one would figure out who she was.

all the photos she had of him had been put inside her keepsake box - which was essentially a shoebox that she’d prettied up. all the photos of herself and callum were in there, all the photos she’d taken of herself for callum and every little thing that he’d bought her was in there. she kept it all hidden in a box and tried to do the same with her feelings, but she knew it didn’t work all the time. she knew that sometimes she appeared more vulnerable than others, that she was more susceptible to callum’s charm and then things changed. she was still attracted to him - of course she was, she wasn’t over him and his level of attraction wasn’t going to go down simply because he ditched her whilst pregnant - unbelievably so. she hadn’t so much as looked at anyone else in a year. some would say that she was sad and that she needed to get out more, that she couldn’t keep moping after cal because there was no chance that she’d ever get him back .. but she just physically didn’t find anyone else that appealing. it was cal she wanted, and no one else. so when he touched her by accident or looked at her in a certain way, it was obviously going to have an affect on her, and it hurt her even more because she knew that .. it wasn’t permanent. it was just for right there and then.

so if it hurt her so damned much, why did she want more?

she wasn’t allowed to see him, her parents had made that perfectly clear. and when ellie had shown no signs of actually listening to mr. and mrs. casey, they’d enlisted the help of her siblings. marissa, rebecca and adam had all told her to stay away, that cal was no good, that he didn’t deserve her and that someone as beautiful and sweet and trusting and caring as her didn’t deserve to have her heart broken and trodden on and taken advantage of. she didn’t see it; she didn’t understand why they all said she was beautiful. she was .. just ellie. there was nothing beautiful about her. just ellie. she knew cal was bad, but that was part of the attraction. she was a good girl with a thing for bad boys; isn’t every good girl like that? ellie wanted to break the mould of her family and didn’t want to just end up settling for the first person that had shown an interest - like marissa and jordan herself. she wanted cal because she knew that she loved him and she knew that somewhere in him he loved her back .. she just .. didn’t know where that part was, or why he’d hidden it, or why he pretended that he didn’t. he was a bad influence on her, she knew that. but she also knew that she was a good influence on him, though she guessed that he’d never admit it. she’d changed a little bit during their freshman and sophomore years when she was with cal, but was that really that big a deal? everyone changes with their first boyfriend, it’s practically a law. she’d reverted back to the old ellie now - quiet, cute, trusting and innocent - but she wanted different ellie. she wanted cal.

she was looking up at him, sprawled across the floor of alan bilzerian in a dress that there was no way in hell she could afford, or that she didn’t even need, just waiting for his reaction, waiting for him to realise that it was her and she wasn’t just some ordinary person who hadn’t been watching where they were going .. which, really, was how ellie saw herself. she was just .. ordinary. there wasn’t anything special about her. she was just ellie. she blinked at his hard look, trying her best not to let it show how much she hated that he looked at her like that, how much it confused her after all the ‘accidental’ touching and the talking and the .. kissing. ellie was so damned confused and she hadn’t even done anything. she didn’t know what to do around callum, she never really had, but at least when they were together she had the assurance that he wouldn’t think she was a total idiot, he wouldn’t think she was slightly backward and acting like a retard on purpose. she bit down on her lip and looked away slightly at the tone of his voice, blocking out the shortness of it, ignoring the harsh eight letter word he threw her way. he just .. didn’t know who she was, that’s all. he hadn’t looked properly, he didn’t know. this .. hurt so much but ellie would never, ever admit it. she couldn’t. she tried to appear as though everything was fine but she knew someone would figure out that it wasn’t. she knew it.

“elliot.”

she looked back up at him at the tone of recognition in his voice, her heart immediately jumping in pace the moment she saw his look of delight. she loved his smile, she did. and his evil grin and his evil smirk and the smile he knew made her lose all concentration. then .. just like that, the smile was gone, and the confusion that ellie had grown to know so well over the last few months came back. she drew in a shaky breath, getting ready to push herself up, when she was suddenly pulled back up. callum had pulled her up and set her back on her conversed feet. she loved that he was so protective of her, so possessive .. it made her feel like she was still his.

“shit, i should’ve watched where i was going. i’m sorry i said that i…”

“no .. really, cal, it’s .. fine, i’m sorry,” ellie muttered, trying to force her breathing to slow down, at least attempting to tell her heart to stop overreacting. “i should have been watching .. it’s fine .. re-” she trailed off as she realised that cal was touching her, he was touching her and he didn’t even have to. she stood there awkwardly as he brushed her down, as his hands ran over her arms and her sides and she fought to control herself. then he stopped, and ellie blinked again in confusion. she watched him, watched him carefully, and noticed that minute change to his expression, noticed that he was reacting to what she was wearing. she hadn’t realised that wearing a dress like this would elict such a reaction from him; if she had, she’d have started wearing them long ago. not that she’d have been able to afford it, but .. she’d have convinced mr. casey after saying it was for prom. it would have been fine. he was staring, she could tell, and there was some part of her that loved that, that loved that cal was staring and paying attention and was so affected by the way she looked.

“what’re you doing here, ellie?”

“i-” ellie was momentarily lost by his ability to flick between awe and disinterest; she didn’t understand it, not one bit. she liked to believe that she was the only one who knew cal, but she really, really had no idea about him. “i just .. needed to get out. of the house, i mean .. dad’s home and .. he still think i’m a faiure and i just .. can’t deal with that .. and .. i just .. wanted to have a look around .. that’s all.”

TAGGED: callum theodore rice<3
WORDS: one thousand, eight hundred & fifty four.
LYRICS: hot mess by ashley tisdale, wtf.
BANNER: sparkly freakout @ caution.
TEMPLATE: ooooh me. [:
NOTES: >3 ellummmm

[callum theodore rice]

-----------------------------------------------
shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

[/size]
darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
-----------------------------------------------------------

elliot. well, what better time to discuss it than now.

it wasn’t that callum didn’t want to be a dad. in fact, it was far from it. the first time he’d held his boy in his arms he figured his heart would burst from the unending flow of pride taking over his veins. it was a bit unfair, in a sense, that something so little could have so much hold over someone so…big. someone like callum theodore rice. someone who didn’t really seem to have a heart at all. but george had that hold over him. he had the ability to turn callum into something only some girls who’d never really had an encounter with him dreamed he’d be like. his kid made him all mushy inside. his kid made him feel weak and powerless. and yet, powerful, all at the same time. he didn’t know what to do. be a proper father or go on living the way he’d always known, with a cigarette between his lips and a girl on his arm. but that would just make him what he always feared he would be. it would give him reason to become the type of person that put out cigarette buds on the back of a small child. and callum didn’t want to be that guy. he wanted to be a good father. but the life of the partier was constantly calling to him. it was like a massive game of tug-o-war was being played. callum was the rope. the two sides were a life he always knew and the life he ;;;wanted.

don’t get me wrong. callum loved his kid. he loved george. he loved how he looked just like elliot. he loved how she thought he might look like himself. he loved the way he smelt, like everyone always said—older women mostly but—the smell of a baby was the best smell any parent could have grace their nostrils. he loved the way he just sat there…all helpless. he loved how he looked when he slept. he loved knowing that he had been part of making something so beautiful. though…he wasn’t suppose to have seen his child at all. it came as no surprise that the casey’s didn’t want callum anywhere near their daughter. he knew he was a bad influence. in fact, he prided himself on that fact. only, he really wanted to see his kid. but he knew he could count on ellie. he always could. she’d let him see george. it was just who she was. kind, sweet, compassionate, beautiful…

ok, enough about george.

there was also no reasoning behind callum’s sudden departure that had anything to do with not wanting to be with elliot. it just seemed like…well, her news of the child within her was like some sort of a wake up call. it was a bucket of ice cold water in his face. it was an accidental brush with fire or the snapping of dangers teeth. whatever it was, it told him to run. and run fast. so he did. he packed his bags and took the first train out of that mess. leaving ellie still frozen at the door, her lips holding the same shape they had when finishing the phrase, “i think i’m pregnant.” all of this metaphorical of course. in reality he’d done something similar. only it was more like simply leaving her and never trying to communicate with her again. and the best part was, he knew she wouldn’t follow. if elliot had even the smallest hint from callum that he didn’t want to talk to her, she wouldn’t talk. if he told her to shut up, she’d shut up. if he told her to lie still, she’d lie still. if he told her to pretend like he’d never looked her way, she damn well would. it was just who she was. it wasn’t in her nature to speak for herself, or to act on her own impulses. in a sense, yeah, callum loved that too. he loved being able to control people, make them do as he pleased. but there was also something about elliot’s submission that he loved more. there was something about the way she looked at him. something about the way she trusted him that made him so intrigued. and, whether or not he wanted to admit it, something about her dropped his ‘random fuck’ numbers down to a new low. it was almost embarrassing. but honestly, he didn’t care near the end there. before she announced the imminent arrival of a new life he helped create. near the end he almost felt content. he was almost happy with her, and letting himself be so. some of the things he said to her were almost…genuine. real. but his flash right back into reality came with the realization that he hadn’t exactly been callum, as he knew himself, for a long time. it was a painful and yet honest realization all the same. so he’d jumped right back into what he’d always known.

for callum, change would be difficult. though he knew elliot, for some god awful reason, loved the way he was. which…in turn, only frustrated him more. he had to change. if only in order to be a good dad. take bethany for instance. she only changed two years after having her child. which meant something obviously wasn’t working. her baby wasn’t getting what it needed. and callum was worse than bethany. yes, they’d been partners in crime, in a sense, but the things callum did on his own would startle some. he wasn’t good and that was that. in order to be a dad, and a good one at that, there had to be some effort to change. there had to be some change. and he was afraid of it. he wanted to be callum theodore rice, the guy everyone knew and hated. only because it kept him from having to talk about shit. he liked having his safety blanket. well, more like safety quilt. with booze and drugs and sex sowed into every patch. so that was why he ran. that was why he turned right on around and left elliot where she was standing.

but it wasn’t working, that much was painfully obvious. the moment he saw george was the moment his plan failed. he shouldn’t have been so curious. why was he so damn curious? he could’ve just walked away and forgotten it all. but he had to know what the kid looked like. justifying himself with just one peek. he was an idiot for doing that. now he saw elliot every time he wanted to see his boy. now he was fucked.

he nodded, whilst listening to her rambling excuse for an answer to his very simple question: what was she doing here. but he could hardly expect anything less. that was the elliot he had always known. and there was a small part of him that delighted in the fact that he could make her stutter and ramble like so. but at the same time…of course, he was disappointed in himself. severely disappointed. elliot should never have gotten in that situation with her father. if it hadn’t been for him she’d still be his little girl. now there was that awkward divide, he’d placed that terrible question in her fathers head, ‘where did my little girl go?’ and he felt almost disgusted by himself for it. “your dad,” he was still looking at her, dress and all, of course. hardly minding everything else except for the manner in which she was speaking and the key word in her sentence, if it could be called that, that word being dad. so she was just having a look around… he appraised her a moment more, the makings of his trademark lopsided grin easing its way onto his features—a sign of amusement, no doubt—before taking a quick glance at their surroundings. by now the things he’d left on the rack nearby lost all hold on his attention. she was the center of his attention. as always.

“you find anything else you like?” callum inquired, as expected, he was excited. duh. he had a model now. and that model just happened to be elliot, which added a whole other branch of excitement. cal took a step back, looking at her with his head cocked slightly to the side, before quickly moving his eyes up to her own, “you like it?”

[/size]-----------------------------------------------
[/center]

tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one four one four
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes gaaahhhh. D: it's bad. D<
but ilthem so. >_>

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU

[/size]
CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center]

despite how many times cal denied it, ellie still thought that george looked like him. and he did, or would, in a few years time. maybe he didn’t look too much like him now but give him a couple of years and he’d look just like callum. ellie didn’t think that george looked like her .. she really didn’t. but then callum was equally adamant that george didn’t look like him, so they were going around and around in circles and not actually getting anywhere. they were both as stubborn as the other, and they were that stubborn that they didn’t want to admit it. ellie was going to remain firm in her belief that george looked like his dad, regardless of what callum said. there was nothing about her in george .. he didn’t look like her. or maybe that was simply ellie being too hard on herself again; she didn’t see herself as particularly special or pretty .. she was just another person. just another ordinary person who’d messed their life up by having a child at sixteen in her junior year. she wasn’t even seventeen yet; it wasn’t her birthday august fifteenth. her late birthday used to annoy her as a child, when everyone else got to have parties earlier than her, but she grew out of her jealous stage quickly. it wasn’t the presents she wanted; she just wanted the parties. ellie had never really asked for much .. she just took what she was given and got on with it, and that was fine by her. people might say that she should demand more and that she needs to grow up and get a spine, but ellie was just fine being herself. she didn’t need more.

she was submissive. she did as she was told and didn’t question the reasoning behind it, though she knew how far to let it go. she knew that some people would try and take advantage of her submissive nature, some people would take advantage of her eagerness to please, of her. and when it got to that point, ellie knew she had to speak up and say something, she knew that it couldn’t carry on, but the one person she could never say no to was callum, the one she always listened to was staring right at her, the one she’d do anything for was standing in front of her and touching her after a years worth of no contact. he was probably only talking to her and being nice and touching her for george’s sake .. he had to be allowed to see george; he was his son. but .. ellie would have let him into george’s life regardless. he didn’t have to talk to her in order to gain access to his child. that was just who she was; she’d have let him she him even if he’d been horrible to her. she shouldn’t want to be around him, especially after he’d walked out on her after she’d told him that she was pregnant, but there was just something about him that ellie found addicting, there was something about cal that made her want more and more of, something she could never get enough of. she needed him, though she couldn’t tell him that. she knew he didn’t think of her in the same way. she knew he didn’t love her. but if he was at least talking to her, that was a start, wasn’t it?

this was a prime example of why ellie needed to toughen up. more people would never want to see their ex-boyfriend ever again after they walked out on them, most people would rather avoid them for the rest of their lives rather than want them back, though ellie was one of the few people who wasn’t like that. she wanted to be around cal, she wanted to be his friend .. though she knew she shouldn’t. she knew she shouldn’t be anywhere near him, she knew that she shouldn’t still love him, she shouldn’t still find him so damned attractive, she shouldn’t feel so confused by everything he did or said, shouldn’t react so violently every time he looked at her in a certain way, her heart shouldn’t start beating so hard that it was practically visible everytime he touched her. she should stop defying her family and actually listen to them and stay away, but there was something addicting about him and ellie simply couldn’t let go. she wanted him in so many ways and if she couldn’t have him for herself, she’d settle for having him for george.

she didn’t want him to change. callum different would just be so weird that ellie wouldn’t even know what to do. she love him being bad, everyone knew that, even cal knew that. that was the one thing she didn’t mind him knowing, the only thing she’d admit to loving. she couldn’t admit to actually loving cal .. then .. things would change, things would be different. she was a good girl, she should be in love with a good boy who didn’t mess around with her and confuse her and treat her the way callum did. but she wasn’t. she was in love with cal, she liked him being bad, she didn’t want him to be good. she’d do everything she could to keep him bad, regardless of how much her family would reject the idea and try to keep her away from him. she’d do it, she really would. cal couldn’t change. if he was different then .. he wouldn’t be cal. he’d be someone else. not cal. and ellie didn’t even want to think about that.

“your dad,”

ellie bit at her lip. mentioning her dad in front of callum was never a good idea; she knew they didn’t get on, she knew her dad hated callum and that the feeling was mutual. before george arrived ellie and her dad had actually been alright, they’d actually gotten along with each other. they hadn’t argued half as much as they did now, they didn’t shout at each other and they didn’t have to fight about whether ellie was going to counselling this week. ellie didn’t need to be counselled, she was fine, although her father was under the impression she had some ridiculous plan to rebel and run off somewhere. he didn’t like that she wasn’t innocent anymore, he didn’t like that she wasn’t simply ellie anymore. in his eyes, she was different, regardless of how many times she insisted she wasn’t.

she bit at her lip as she watched him, her breathing changing in pace subtly as she spotted the grin coming back, the grin that ellie loved, the grin that cal knew made her lose all concentration, the one that made her do anything. she looked around carefully when he did, not entirely sure why, his paranoia rubbing off on her. she blinked, not even sure why she was in this store in the first place. she couldn’t afford anything in this store, why would she even be here in the first place? she wasn’t from one of the richest families in boston; she was very much middle class. she shopped in places like target and gap .. affordable stores. alan bilzerian was completely out of her price range. she looked back at cal and just watched him, taking in the slight angle of his head and that grin and .. D:

“you find anything else you like? .. you like it?”

“i .. well .. yes, but it’s not like .. i can’t afford it, i mean .. and i .. don’t even have anywhere it wear it, it’s not like i need it, i .. i mean of course i like it .. but .. i was only trying it on, i wasn’t going to buy it, i couldn’t even if i wanted to .. which i do .. but i .. can’t .. and i don’t need it .. i-” ellie was rambling again, callum’s grin and appraisal making her nervous. she swallowed hard, licking at her lips and trying to force herself to calm down. maybe it was what she was wearing that was making her nervous. she hadn’t worn something like this in front of anyone before, and of course callum was going to be the one she would be the most nervous about. of course, he’d seen her wearing much less .. but that wasn’t the point. she rolled her shoulders awkwardly, looking around to check that nobody from school was here and so wasn’t staring at her. she didn’t react well to staring. “but .. yeah .. i .. like it ..”

TAGGED: callum theodore rice<3
WORDS: one thousand, four hundred & fifty two.
LYRICS: hot mess by ashley tisdale, wtf.
BANNER: sparkly freakout @ caution.
TEMPLATE: ooooh me. [:
NOTES: guh. D:

[callum theodore rice]

-----------------------------------------------
shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

[/size]
darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
-----------------------------------------------------------

there was always that one bit that callum didn’t understand about her. ok, hell, there was an entire vat, complete with noxious fumes and curious looking unmentionables floating beneath the surface of things that callum didn’t understand about her. namely, the whole, ‘bad boy’ thing. he was bad. yes. we all got this. we all knew and loved, or despised, this. but she didn’t want it to go away. some girls…some girls could last a couple nights with callum’s personality. his mannerisms. even his lack of concern over practically everything. but after a while…most of them got sick of it. most of them wanted to settle down with the man of there dreams. some guy who would get a nine to five. some guy who fit in perfectly in the world of fast paced business deals and hours spent behind a screen in a corner office with a perfect bayside view. most girls wanted a guy who would turn into a sweetheart and grow up to maintain the same values. he’d take care of his woman. he’d let her know everything would be fine. he’d want to raise a family, after a huge and homey wedding. he’d wear clothes bought in the men’s department of the kohl’s where the rest of the family shopped for bargains. go golfing with some guys from work on the weekend and take his boys out fishing. he’d buy her the world and in return ask for nothing. that…wasn’t callum. it never would be. and elliot knew that. so why did she still hang around? why did he still have so much control over her?

the biggest thing he couldn’t get over, was her ability to remain seemingly unaware of her own beauty. literally. the girl appeared clueless. like a child dressed in one of mommies dresses and a pair of high heels, complete with sunglasses, pearls and red lipstick. elliot was a girl. that was how callum perceived her. not a woman. a girl. and yet she was placed in a woman’s body. she literally was gorgeous. stunning. how could she not see it? how could she not flaunt it? her clothing choice was far from exceptional, a thing he’d told himself he would fix, given the chance. he’d known from his first look at her what she’d look good at. what colors and styles. all from stores like alan bilzerian, of course. and she could get away with it too. she could get away with dressing in high fashion and not look like a complete douche. but hell, she had no idea what she had to work with. she said that she was ‘just ellie’ far too much. she was so much more than just ellie. and callum saw it. it was a shame, really, to waste it all. she had so much potential. so. damn. much. all she had to do was try. whereas, cal knew he was good looking. and he wasn’t just being an arrogant fool. he knew it. yes. callum thoedore rice had the stuff that made woman’s hearts stop. he had the stuff that made guys jealous. he was handsome, more or less. he knew it. he used it. very much to his advantage. in a way it was a distraction from his home life. if they were focused on his flamboyant personality, sharp tongue and ridiculous ability to enhance those parts of himself he knew were striking, then they couldn’t focus on the fact that he had two dads. or that there were small circular burns on his back, or that he was sexually insecure.

it was a disappointment, above all. that elliot would waste such a thing. and he wanted so badly to grab her by the shoulders and tell her what he saw. he wanted to simply be able to stare at her with the ability to make her see everything he saw. in his own eyes. she needed to. maybe then she’d be different. maybe then, her family would have a reason to be upset with her. because she’d become so much more than just ellie. and yet…at the same time…cal loved this elliot. this elliot was kind. this elliot was gentle. this elliot was humble and sweet and giving. innocent. something cal had never been. this elliot was his. perhaps if she’d become someone else some other, more appealing male would pick her up. right where callum left off. perhaps someone more apt to approval from her parents than callum was. perhaps someone who would buy her flowers and take her out on proper dates. someone who would buy her the world and ask nothing in return. someone who knew he was expected to get a desk job and slip easily into the live of the overworked business man, and would be fine with it. someone not like callum. someone not callum. no. that was why he couldn’t tell her. he couldn’t show elliot how ridiculously beautiful she was. how stunning her smile was. how much her laugh made him feel like a little boy with crush on an upperclassman. how her stuttering made him feel powerful. how her lack of height made him feel this insatiable need to protect her. how her petite frame was his favorite to hold. how even the littlest of movements made him feel like he was lucky to be in the presence of an angel…

no. hell no. fuck no. how grateful he was that no one could hear his thoughts. if anyone were to know where little conversations in his head often led his reputation would be severely damaged. in more ways than he could handle. he would be diminished in cries of ridicule and shrill laughter. he’d be reduced to nothing more than the boy who had cigarette buds put out on his back, held with two paw-like hands in a firm and unyielding grasp. he’d be nothing. he’d be worthless. cal had to keep this up. this was who he was. and who he was kept him from some of his worst fears being realized. so you see? that is why callum theodore rice couldn’t and wouldn’t change. that is why elliot couldn’t stay with him. that is why he couldn’t be the father he wanted to be. god, all those couldn’ts and wouldn’ts and shouldn’ts. won’ts and can’ts and shan’ts. this was ridiculous. psh, callum knew he’d stick around for george. who was he kidding. he knew he’d see elliot far more than he should. he knew he’d get her in trouble a few more times before her parents sent her some where away from him…or he gave in. this battle was already lost. the only question was how long callum would fight back, bloody and sore, wielding nothing but a small pocket knife against legions and legions of well-equipped and fresh-for-battle enemies. and the honest truth was, he’d keep fighting, until there was nothing left in him. until he had no other choice.

elliot had made the choice for him. the moment he’d laid eyes on her. his future had been set and the ball had begun rolling. he was damned.

shit.

he almost wanted to reach out and put his hand over her mouth. make her stop talking. stop stuttering and making it profusely obvious that he was having some effect on her. make all those feelings her nerves elicited go away. it was only bringing him down. no matter how delicious and properly packaged the weapon was, it was deadly on the inside. lethal. he listened, unable to wipe that stupid grin from his face. no matter how much he knew it was getting to her. she liked the dress. she couldn’t afford it. he’d buy it for her. no and’s, if’s or but’s about it. that dress was hers. there was no way he was going to take another look at her, the way she looked in that dress, and simply walk off with a dismissive wave of his hand and a simple, ‘oh well.’ the dress was hers. simple as that. and he almost felt giddy at the fact. he was buying her a dress. callum theodore rice would buy elliot jordan casey, a girl who in fact wasn’t him, a dress. perfect. again he nodded, his own, less dissmisive version of…well, dismissing her words. “it’s yours,

[/color]” he said simply, looking off towards the dressing rooms. his mind replayed her first words, latching onto the part where she mentioned a store clerk holding her room for her. knowing full well that she was going to reject his idea, tell him he didn’t have to. but, like the cal we all know and despise, he just looked back at her, ignoring any and all words she had to fit in after his simple comment—to be taken simply—and asked, “where’s your stuff?[/color]”

[/blockquote][/size]-----------------------------------------------
[/center]

tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one four seven four
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes eh. >_<

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU

[/size]
CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center]

she knew that cal was quite possibly the worst choice for her. she knew that there were better people out there in whom she could be interested, but she just simply didn’t want them. she didn’t want a good guy; compared to cal, they’d be boring. she wanted cal, plain and simple. was that really that hard to understand? her parents clearly didn’t seem to understand, they thought that there was some bigger reason behind it, but that was how they saw everything. they thought that everything happened for a reason. ellie got pregnant because she was stupid. cal left her because he was a dick. adam looked out for her because it was obvious she couldn’t do it for herself. her parents had next to no faith in her, especially now after all the drama with george and cal, and ellie had no clue whatsoever what she could do to restore that. she just went through her life doing what she was told, acting like she used to before george, but that clearly wasn’t good enough for them. they clearly didn’t like the way she acted; they said it was obvious that she’d spent time with callum in the past. but how was it obvious? ellie was nothing like cal. even when she’d been with him there wasn’t anything about her that had changed drastically, apart from maybe the way she saw herself. when she was with him she’d thought that she was special. when he’d walked away that feeling had gone with him. now she was just ordinary.

if she still thought she was special she knew she’d be different, her life would be different. she would have moved on, she’d probably already be with someone who would never leave her or treat her in the same way as cal did. she’d be with someone who wanted to stay with her for the rest of their life and could think of nothing better than being with her and getting her everything she wanted, even if she didn’t tell them what she wanted, simply because they were that type of guy. but that wasn’t what ellie wanted .. she wouldn’t even consider going out with someone like that just to appease her parents. she didn’t want someone who would do anything for her, she didn’t want someone who would buy her whatever she wanted .. it just wasn’t ellie. she liked that cal was bad, she liked that her parents didn’t like him .. she liked that she was forbidden to see him, and, in a way, the fact that she wasn’t allowed him only made her want him more. it was always the same; if something’s forbidden, you’re more likely to want it, like when you’re a child and you’re told to stay away from the medicine cabinet .. which you never do and then you hurt yourself and you have to admit to disobeying your parents and just hope that they put you back together again when you’re broken.

though ellie had never relied on her parents to do that; they’d told her not to. if she was just going to go ahead and do what she wanted regardless of their warnings, then she’d have to look after herself when things went wrong. not if, when. because things were going to go wrong whether ellie wanted to believe that or not. she could carry on believing that things were fine and they weren’t going to end badly. she could ignore her parents’ warnings that she was going to get her heart broken. but if she did that, then she essentially cut herself off from all help that they would have given her had she listened to them. but it was fine .. it was. she .. she had george. and adam helped look out for her. she knew it was because her mom and dad told him to .. but still. she wasn’t fully on her own, at least.

she didn’t understand why people thought she was beautiful. she wasn’t beautiful, she wasn’t gorgeous, she wasn’t anything special. she .. was just ellie. that was all. she was short, so unbelievably short, which made looking up at some people incredibly annoying. she was just a short boston girl who’d got knocked up and wasn’t anything special. the one time she’d have thought she was somewhat pretty was when she was with cal, when she felt wanted and safe and needed and .. when she wasn’t hurt, and wasn’t upset and broken. she just .. didn’t believe it any more. she was ellie. that was all. she kept watching him, blinking at him and fighting the urge to hide behind her hair. she didn’t know what to do; he was looking at her and that made ellie .. a little bit uncomfortable, if she was being honest. she didn’t know how to react to cal anymore. she didn’t know what to do when he looked at her or spoke to her or touched her. she was still very much under his control; if he told her to do something she honestly would, anything at all. it didn’t matter what, she’d just do it. cal didn’t even need to ask. she lowered her eyes slightly and stared at his chest, wetting her lips nervously and trying to calm herself down, trying to tell herself that she was fine and that nothing bad was going to happen, she wasn’t going to get hurt, she was going to be okay.

despite how weird and uncomfortable callum made her, she wasn’t going to give him up. she couldn’t. she had to stay in contact with him, for george’s sake if not her own. she didn’t want george growing up not knowing his dad; ellie’s dad was a good role model, yes, and a much better person for george to look up to than callum, but mr. casey was already distant with ellie .. he pretty much acted as though george didn’t exist. as though he didn’t have a grandson and his youngest child hadn’t messed up dramatically and gotten herself pregnant. because she knew that was the only reason she and her dad had issues now. she’d messed up. she wasn’t the same girl in her dad’s mind. she wasn’t innocent any more. that innocence had been taken away the first time she saw cal. in her opinion, she’d done nothing wrong. she’d just forgotten to take a tablet one day, and that one day was the day things had changed forever. in a way, it was all her own fault. if she hadn’t forgotten to take that pill .. things would be different. but she didn’t want them to be different. she liked things as they were, broken heart and all.

she hated that she was stuttering and stumbling over her words in front of him. she hated that it was obvious that he had an affect on her. she should be more discreet, like adam said. it was so transparently obvious that she still liked him. cal probably already knew, and ellie didn’t even have to tell him. she still needed to hide it though. she had to keep it hidden. she didn’t want everyone else knowing she wasn’t over him, despite how obvious it was. she continued biting at her lip, letting her eyes travel down cal’s body idly before she realised what she was doing and snapped her gaze back up to his eyes, hoping to god that she wasn’t blushing and turning so red that she’d resemble a tomato.

“it’s yours,”

“i .. what?” ellie’s eyes widened, blinking fast. he didn’t even know the price, he couldn’t just buy her this. “cal .. you .. you can’t, i mean .. i don’t have anywhere to wear it and .. it’s way too much .. really .. i-”

“where’s your stuff?”

“i .. three .. but-”

TAGGED: callum theodore rice<3
WORDS: one thousand, three hundred & eighteen.
LYRICS: hot mess by ashley tisdale, wtf.
BANNER: sparkly freakout @ caution.
TEMPLATE: ooooh me. [:
NOTES: bah. D:<

[callum theodore rice]

-----------------------------------------------
shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

[/size]
darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
-----------------------------------------------------------

perhaps it wouldn’t be such a big deal. if he were to give in now. perhaps all would go smoothly, and things wouldn’t be as messy as he thought they might. maybe callum was just overreacting. things didn’t have to be as bad as he thought they would be. the world wouldn’t end. he wouldn’t be ridiculed and mocked for being so much softer than everyone else has previously perceived him. he wouldn’t become so different, he’d still be the callum he knew himself to be. without all of the secrets and the shit that made him feel better—i.e. alchohol, drugs…sex. elliot wouldn’t hurt him like he assumed she would. how could he even think she might in the first place? she was elliot. not some bulky jock whose only pride in life is tearing others down to make himself feel better. no. she was just elliot. like she insisted all the time. she really was. there was nothing scary about her and therefore nothing to be afraid of. he was just paranoid. that was it. he was freaking himself out. it wouldn’t be as bad. he’d still be callum. the world wouldn’t fall apart. and there would be no trademark, ‘trouble in paradise’. just him and elliot. and george. perfect. nothing could go wrong with that combination. nothing…

nothing at all. callum would be the epitome of the perfect teenage boy, at his prime and prepared to take care of his girlfriend and son. sure, he’d get a late start, but he’d clean himself up in time for senior year. he’d sober up, stop with the drugs. the only girl he even think of having sexual interaction with would be elliot. and they’d always be careful. always. there wouldn’t be another mess. not that george was a mess at all. but hey, they were only sixteen, callum seventeen, a baby was enough. cal would pick up a job, despite his ability to get anything and everything from his dads. he’d get a job to prove to elliot, her parents and himself that he could take care of them. they’d get along. he wouldn’t control her. they’d be happy. one big happy family. just him and elliot and their son, george. perfect. and when they graduated cal would have dropped all plans of being a designer—knowing they were farfetched to begin with—and quickly assimilate himself into the business world. perhaps he’d work with his dad, ted. they’d get an apartment, with a little help from his folks, and thrive. they’d do it. they’d live on their own. they’d make it. and they’d never have troubles again. never.

that was if callum gave in now. he had the choice. give elliot and george all they deserved. her the perfect boyfriend and george the dad he needed. or continue being who he was. useless. addicted to drugs. an alcoholic. and a sex fiend. he wielded the power. it was a bit dramatic when you thought about it. like callum being the deciding factor on whether or not the world was full of sin or a perfect safe haven for all living things. in a sense he did have that power. he held elliot and george’s lives in his hands. he could do so much for them. or he could do nothing at all.

but…he didn’t want to think about this now. or ever really. he didn’t want to have to decide. he wanted the decision to be made for him. in the hopes that the right one would be made. he didn’t want to deal with it. he wanted to drop the dilemma in someone else’s hands. have the blame dropped off on them with it. he couldn’t handle such a responsibility. he didn’t deserve such a responsibility. no. he wouldn’t think about it now. perhaps when the one thing he was having to make a decision on wasn’t standing right in front of him. swaying him with a dress designed for far more fortunate women. looking as angelic as she did. there was no way he could make a proper decision now. not saying that later on when he was at home with his narcotics and nicotine the decision would be any easier…he just simply didn’t want to deal with it now. yeah. he’d wait. right now he needed to deal with elliot. insisting, just like he’d thought, that he shouldn’t buy the dress for her. that she didn’t need it. that she had nowhere to wear it. she’d try and come up with any excuse, she really would. right up until callum said, “i’m buying it for you.

[/color]” like so. his voice deepened with a certain degree of severity. he wasn’t kidding with her. it was hers.

he looked directly into those eyes a moment more, fully aware of what it would do to her. the look was doing things to him all the same. things he wouldn’t admit. even to himself. and when he was certain that the gaze had said it all he looked back to the dressing rooms. “i’ll find somewhere for you to wear it,[/color]” he spoke, quietly, the words meant more for himself then for her. he didn’t see it as much of an issue. if she wanted it, she should get it. simple as that. that was how it had always been for callum. he hardly wore the things he purchased. the only things he wore came from the cheaper stores, the stores where all the other kids shopped. to ‘fit in’. it was demeaning, yes. if he could afford such expensive clothing he should be able to wear it. but no. he couldn’t. for the sake of any sort of reputation he held. the last thing he wanted was attention for being the rich prude. ew, no. he’d stick to his cheap second-rate clothing. it wasn’t that bad anyway…

the realization that perhaps he wasn’t appearing to be paying much attention to her hit him and almost immediately his gaze returned to elliot, his eyes softening—on purpose—in tune with the makings of a smile etching it’s way onto his face. “i promise,” he added. he had to assure her. else she would probably end up thinking something entirely off base. like…he was only buying her stuff to make himself feel better, or to shut her up. he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted her to think he actually cared but…anything was better than the former options. with an all the more assuring look on his face, he slowly walked behind her, placing a hand on her back and speaking softly into her ear, “go get your stuff, elliot.” with that, a small amount of pressure was applied to her lower back, a hint of motivation. and…of course…without much hesitation—and by much I definitely mean much, ellie was always bound to hesitate—she did as she was told, hurrying along towards the dressing rooms. he watched, for less than a couple of seconds and headed immediately, with a sense of purpose in each step, towards the counter. an older woman, looking quite full of herself and absolutely overdone in her choice of clothing and makeup, watched his every movement. there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she thought he was here to start trouble. hell, he didn’t dress up to go shopping. he still looked like a teenage hooligan.

“i’m buying that dress,” he nodded in the direction of the still retreating ellie, leaning against the counter in a lazy manner. the woman simply stared at him for what seemed like minutes, skepticism pouring from each wrinkle that outlined her aged lips and eyes. and when the dinosaur spoke, a feat that amazed callum in so many ways, her voice was harsh and deep. “can you afford it?” she inquired. and to that, callum had only one answer. he smiled at her, his trademark lopsided smile, and pulled a shiny metallic gold card from his back pocket placing on the counter and sliding it slowly towards her. a nod and a wink--one he knew would work wonders on the old woman’s mood--and callum averted his gaze to the changing rooms, his facial expression screaming claims to carelessness. everything his voice wasn't saying.

[/blockquote][/size]-----------------------------------------------
[/center]

tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one three seven six. >_>
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes EWEWEW. >_< i might redo if you don't read it by the time i can get my hands on it with some proper muse. >_>

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU

[/size]
CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center]

he couldn’t buy her this .. he really couldn’t. this was .. far too much. she’d never be able to pay him back. ellie didn’t want him to buy her this. she might want it .. but she .. didn’t want it bought for her. she’d never wear it .. there was no point in callum buying her something she was never going to wear. if he was going to waste so much money on her he should at least spend it on something she was actually going to use, and not on something that would more than likely just sit at the back of her wardrobe gathering dust. ellie had always had issues with people buying her things; regardless of whether it was a gift or not, she had always felt the obligation to pay that person back. it didn’t matter who it was; she had to pay them back, always, everytime. and if they wouldn’t accept it .. she’d just give it to their parents and tell them to give it to them, or she’d buy them something of the same value. everything had to be fair. but this wasn’t fair .. there was no way ellie would ever be able to pay him back ,there was no way she could afford to buy him something of the same value. she was stuck, and because callum was stubborn, she knew he’d never listen to her no matter how much she complained. maybe she could sneakily sell it back to the woman at the cash register after about a week .. or maybe wait a few months, just in case callum happened to ask if she still had the dress and if she did she had to prove it.

that got her thinking. maybe she didn’t need it now .. but maybe a situation would arise in the future. maybe then she’d need it. maybe then she’d have a use for it and somewhere to wear it. that wasn’t the point though. it was a ridiculous about of money callum was spending on her, and all for a dress. just a dress. it didn’t matter how gorgeous it was or how much ellie really, really wanted it .. at the end of the day it was just a dress. it was just a piece of fabric that ellie would love in the store and then never wear again once she got home. target probably had better dresses, more affordable ones too. she was sure there were dresses there that were better than this one .. and if he bought her one from target then she could easily pay him back, she wouldn’t have to worry about where she was going to get the money from. she wasn’t from the richest families in boston; she was .. well .. poor .. compared to some people .. but she made it work. she was fine with the clothes she had; she didn’t want or need these fancy clothes from stores like alan bilzerian or places like newbury. they may not be the best .. but they were clothes at the very least. ordinary .. like her.

maybe she should just stop dreaming. maybe she should just stop hoping that cal was going to come back to her and they could pick up exactly where they left off. he wasn’t going to go back to her, he wasn’t going to just settle down into being with her. as much as she wanted callum for herself, she knew that if he restricted himself to only her then he wouldn’t be the same. he wouldn’t be callum. he’d be different. and that was something ellie didn’t want. she didn’t want callum to change; he had to stay the same, he had to. despite what he thought, he could be a good dad the way that he was, he didn’t have to change everything about himself so he could fit in with the dad stereotype. not all dads were the same, not all dads were stuck in a nine to five demanding business job. some dads were different, some .. well .. they weren’t like cal, but .. the point was he didn’t have to change, he didn’t have to be like every other father in the world. he could just be cal. he could stay the way he was, he could stay the way that ellie loved .. she didn’t want him to change. if he changed things would be different. she didn’t want them to be different; she wanted them to stay the same. ellie wasn’t a big fan of change, especially if it was change that would affect her. she’d find some way to keep cal the way he was. she didn’t know how .. but she’d do it.

she could be determined, she could stand up for herself. not many people knew it, no one gave her the chance to show that side of her. she was just the quiet, sweet girl to them, the one who had no temper, the one who wouldn’t do anything regardless of how annoyed she got. of course, her parents and siblings would contradict that. they were the only people who knew that ellie could and would fight for herself, they were the only ones who knew that she had a temper, the only ones who knew that she’d do anything and everything for george, that she’d do everything within her power towards fighting if someone so much as looked at him the wrong way. it took a lot for ellie to get annoyed, and she didn’t act that way easily, or willingly. the only time she’d shout at someone was if they were shouting at her and refusing to give in, refusing to leave her alone and give her a break .. like her father. he just never shut up, continually telling her that she was a failure and that all the money himself and her mother had put aside for their youngest daughter, elliot jordan casey’s trust fund and college fund was just a waste and that he’d have been better off spending it on whatever he’d wanted instead. it wasn’t like ellie was going to use it. she had a child now. she couldn’t go to university, don’t be daft. if elliot thought that her mother and father would take care of george whilst she was off furthering her education in some god forsaken state half way across america, then she could think again, according to her father. her mother had remained quiet about the subject. if ellie was going to be stupid and fuck her life up by having a kid .. then that was her own fault. her parents wouldn’t help her. whilst she was still in high school they would, of course they would. even though they were under the impression that ellie now couldn’t go to college they still expected her to maintain her four point oh GPA average. they still expected her to ace her SATs. they still expected her to get nothing less than an a minus on every piece of work she did. they expected too much of her, but it wasn’t like ellie could really do much about that; it wasn’t in her nature to rebel.

“i’m buying it for you.”

ellie was all set to protest more, to tell him not to buy her the dress .. but then he looked at her. he looked at her in the way that he knew did things to her. he looked at her in the way that he knew made her resolve crumble and made her do pretty much anything and everything that he said. she was so his, she was so far under his control that it was almost pathetic. he knew she was submissive, he knew she’d do just about anything for him .. and he exploited it and .. she just let him do it, she just let him take advantage of her and didn’t put up a fight because she loved him and it was so damned obvious despite how hard she tried to hide it.

“but .. cal, i-”

“i’ll find somewhere for you to wear it, i promise,”

ellie didn’t know what to make of him being so nice to her. she was so confused and she didn’t even know why. she hadn’t done anything to deserve this dress .. she didn’t need it, couldn’t afford it .. she wasn’t any concern of cal’s .. so why was he buying it for her? why was he wasting his own - well, his dads’ - money just for her? she didn’t get it, didn’t understand it, didn’t know what to make of it. but she liked it. or at least she thought she did. maybe it was just because she liked callum. maybe that was what she was getting, maybe her like for callum was .. ellie didn’t even know. her thoughts trailed off into an unintelligible murmur as she kept looking at him, as that smiled worked on her and made her brain feel like a pile of mush and her knees feel like jelly. she was going to fall over, she-

her heart was pounding so hard she could feel it in her throat. she tried to watch him as he walked around her, tried to keep him in her line of sight so that he couldn’t catch her off guard, but ellie isn’t observant. she shivered as she felt the pressure of cal’s hand on her back, unable to stop the automatic reaction. she tried not to make it obvious how much of an effect that one touch was having on her, how much she liked that he was close to her. her breath hitched in her throat as she felt his mouth at her ear and - barely thinking about it - she did what he said, stumbling her way back towards her dressing room, relieving the store clerk from her job of minding ellie’s clothes. she pulled her t-shirt and jeans back on without paying much attention, and stumbled back out, only to find she had no idea where cal was. she stared around the store, trying to spot him .. then stood dead still and stared as she saw him watching her.

TAGGED: callum theodore rice<3
WORDS: one thousand, seven hundred & eighteen.
LYRICS: hot mess by ashley tisdale, wtf.
BANNER: sparkly freakout @ caution.
TEMPLATE: ooooh me. [:
NOTES: ew >_<

[callum theodore rice]

-----------------------------------------------
shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

[/size]
darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
-----------------------------------------------------------

he loved the little things. and it was probably only with her that the little things actually mattered. aside from the little quirks people had in reaction to things he said or did. but with elliot, the little things were part of what he adored about her. she was beautiful, yes, downright, drop-dead, killer queen, beautiful. there was no denying that. any idiot with two eyes and a taste for the opposite sex could see that. hell any female could see it. but the only reason they weren't jealous or completely put off by elliot was because she didn't have what it took to take naturally beautiful looks like hers to the next level. she didn't have the overwhelming sense of confidence needed to pull off such a feat. nor the attitude. nor the feline-esque model-like catwalk/prowl needed to catch the eye. she didn't know those simple little maneuvers that, if done right, could have a guy on his knees begging, 'do me'. so, for the rest of the female population not blessed with utterly gorgeous features like elliot, they need not worry. there was no competition whatsoever with her. unless... the entire female population wanted callum. ok, now, if they wanted to fuck callum there was no issue. but if they wanted him, as in actually wanted, wanted him... they were looking to be sorely disappointed. the only girl callum had ever even thought about settling with was elliot. and the thought swam in and out of his mind so fast you'd hardly believe he even thought it. christ, there were so many things voting against it.

so it was the little things. like how he noticed her pulse quickened the closer he came to her. how easily he could get her confused. how easily he could freak her out. how easily he could turn her on. how one little touch often elicited shivers or the catch of breath in her throat. how she barely breathed around him. how each and every time she looked at him she looked as though she'd just been surprised. even if she'd been expecting him. how she hadn't the slightest clue what to say to him. even if he knew she was confused or bewildered, he'd still pretend as though he didn't understand and she needed to be more clear. he acted as though it was all innocent when in reality it was so blatantly planned. and she more than likely knew it. he knew it. any on-looker could tell. both for some reason they both pretended that the other didn't notice. he got away with so much with her. it was as if elliot ran on a system of wires. like there was a big universal remote synced up with her and callum held it in his hands. he could make her do whatever the hell he wanted. normally, in fact, he could do that with a hell of a lot of other girls. but for some reason the control he held over elliot was much more interesting than the others. he loved it more. it entertained him more. her reactions were worth more to him than a brand new scarf or pair of jeans. he knew it was oh so wrong, but fuck, he did it anyway. she'd successfully nabbed, held and messed with his attention much longer than any other female without even trying. literally, elliot wasn't aware of the control she had over him. but this goes back to the beauty thing. you know, the beauty she doesn't realize exists? she had just as much control over him and she had no fucking clue. if only she knew...

he took so much pride in this one fact now. again, it was a little thing. but this little thing had nothing really to do with elliot. ok, scrap that, it had everything to do with her. it simply wasn't... about her mannerisms in specific. it was more like what he could do for her. and we all know he absolutely loved doing shit for her. honestly. i'm not playing. as long as it didn't involve 'settling' in any form, then he'd more than likely to it for her. though it all depended on the timing and his mood. and the realistic qualities of the inquiry. but this is entirely off base. what callum was pleased with at this exact moment was that he got to buy her something. more particularly this dress. though his attitude earlier had been completely parental about it on the outside 'i'm getting it for you' and excited on the inside, 'i'm getting something for her'. it was simply much more exciting now. now that he knew she was undressing and putting her other clothes--no he wasn't imagining her undressing, though that wouldn't be too farfetched for cal. now that he'd handed over the magically golden slash metallic card. now that the woman, taking as long as she fucking wanted it seemed, had finally rung up the dress--a feat that he was shocked she could accomplish in her crumpling state. and now that the older woman, with a less than chipper look upon her delicately wrinkled visage, was handing him back said card. it was complete. the transaction. wayyyyy too much over the normal twenty five or so she would've paid at target--but who bought target when you could buy alan bilzerian, right?--for a dress she'd probably only wear once, but he'd like to see her in more often. it was beautiful on her, stunning. in fact, he would even venture to say she made the dress look better. but maybe his opinion was just a bit biased.

the dinosaur was speaking behind him but his attention was fully on the girl staring straight at him from the changing rooms at the moment. he muttered slash mumbled a sort of mhmmm, and waved her off, gathering whatever shit she wanted to through at him and walking straight for elliot. no doubt stressing her out. but that little fact ringing in the back of his mind made it all the more entertaining to watch. so he kept watching her, as he continued to move, hoping he'd see something more out of it. hoping she'd give him some sort of sign that he was affecting her the way he figured he would. and as he approached her his expression softened and a light and lopsided grin tugged at his lips, "i should take you shopping sometime. i think i remember that shirt from two years ago." he grinned now, full out grinned as he took the dress from her, placed it carefully in the bag the woman behind the counter--excuse me, fossil behind the counter--had tried to shove at him. "you wouldn't object to that would you?

[/color]" he inquired, almost finding himself too at ease with the situation. perhaps he ought to tone it down a bit? but before he could even think about the proper steps to obtaining this chilled state he found his arm reaching up, over and around her shoulders, his lips pressing to her forehead and his feet carrying both him--and her--towards the front door of mr. alan bilzerian's shop.

brilliant. who knew what mess all of this would get him into.

[/blockquote][/size]-----------------------------------------------
[/center]

tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one two one six
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes um. >_> i tried. >_<

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU

[/size]
CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center]

as soon as ellie had disappeared from cal’s sight, she’d ran back to her dressing room as fast as she could, silver converse squeaking on the linoleum floor. she flung her door open and shooed the store clerk out, moving quickly, as though stalling for time would be a bad thing. she was flustered, she didn’t know what to do, cal made her feel so god damned weird it was confusing. her friends all said she shouldn’t be around him, shouldn’t make it so obvious that she still had a thing for him, shouldn’t let him touch her, shouldn’t talk to him, shouldn’t have any contact with him in general. she leant back against the door and pressed her hands to her face, making her cheeks more heated as she realised that she was blushing. blushing. cal made her blush. he always had, it had just been so long since she’d been around him long enough for him to do it that she’d forgotten that he had. she both loved and hated that cal had this effect on her; how he could make her head spin and her heart stop and make her feel like she was about to jump him at any given second. she loved that she could still feel that, even after what he’d done, even after what she’d gone through. but she hated that she couldn’t have him. she didn’t want him to settle. she knew he’d never do that. but when he made her feel like that, she hated that she couldn’t have him right that second. it was frustrating, so much so that ellie felt like stamping her feet on the ground like a five year old and growling. she couldn’t do that, not in the middle of a store, not in the middle of a high class store like alan bilzerian. really, what was ellie doing in here? she didn’t belong in these kinds of stores; she wasn’t rich, she couldn’t pull any of the clothes off .. she was more target. gap. miss selfridge. everything that alan bilzerian wasn’t. she sank down to the ground, crouching, still leaning against the door as she tried to get herself back under control. her heart was racing and beating so hard she almost expected to see it beating out of her chest. pulling her hands away from her face, she pressed them to her neck, and cursed quietly under her breath as she realised just how fast her pulse was. she needed to calm down. now.

it took her three tries to pull her clothes back on. at first her shirt was inside out, then the wrong way around, and then it was both inside out and the wrong way round. her jeans were simple, but she made it much harder for herself by forgetting to take her converse off before pulling the denim pants on. the dress was placed back on it’s hanger, looking at her from it’s position on the door. she knew cal shouldn’t be buying her this. there were so many more cons than pros. she couldn’t pay him back, she had nowhere to wear it, it would just sit in the back of her wardrobe doing nothing, she wouldn’t be able to explain to her dad where she’d got it. but clearly the fact that she liked it and wanted it outweighed everything else. everything logical. just because ellie liked something didn’t mean she should automatically get it. if that was the case, she’d have got the silver jaguar for her birthday, not the volvo xc90. not that she was complaining. she loved her car. she just wasn’t sure whether someone like ellie really needed a four by four. that was the thing with ellie; she never thought she needed anything. she was too considerate. if she got something expensive, she’d try and convince them to take it back and get her something cheaper, only because she didn’t think she was important enough for something that cost more money than she’d ever have at one time. she sat down on the chair and stared at the dress, wondering if there was any way she could convince cal not to get it for her. she knew there wasn’t. she knew he was paying for it right now. but she still wanted to think. she still had to hope that she could convince him not to get it for her, even if she knew it was a lost cause.

sighing, she stood up and looked around, checking she wasn’t leaving anything of hers behind, before looking at the dress and taking it off the hook resignedly, opening the door and going out onto the main floor of the store. she just stood and stared at cal as she noticed him, and felt her cheeks burning again as he stared back. the dress was hanging loosely over her arms, and she shuffled awkwardly as he walked towards her, a million thoughts racing through her head, not one of them making sense. she wanted to look away but she couldn’t. she wanted to go away but she couldn’t. she wanted cal but she couldn’t have him. over and over again, these thoughts raced through her head, never stopping, never making sense. she kept staring at him, chewing at her lip, feeling as though she was rooted to the spot. she finally managed to drag her eyes away, but it was only to stare down at the -- her, her; it was hers now -- dress. why did she think it was a good idea to even come in here? her eyes snapped right back up to his as he appeared in front of her, and she felt something inside her twist as she spotted his smile. dammit, she loved that smile.

"i should take you shopping sometime. i think i remember that shirt from two years ago."

she looked down at her plain check shirt, frowning, and then looked back up as she felt the -- her -- dress being tugged from her arms. she watched him place the dress into the bag, and resisted the urge to take the bag off him. she’d only go up to the counter and try to exchange it if she had it. “it’s .. not that old. .. eighteen months, tops,” ellie muttered, trying to sound as though cal wasn’t affecting her, trying to make a joke out of it when she really had no clue what she was doing whatsoever. “.. it’s too big now anywa-”

"you wouldn't object to that would you?"

ellie glanced up at cal sharply, already resigned to the fact that if she argued she’d lose. he’d buy her the clothes whether she liked it or not. she opened and closed her mouth, trying to find the words that had currently abandoned her. she licked at her lips nervously and looked away from him, wishing she wasn’t such a dork and could actually talk around him. she knew she tried to keep how much she liked him a secret, but right now, she was really bad at trying. the only way ellie could be more obvious was if she had ‘i like you’ tattooed across her face. she felt her stomach twist yet again as cal’s arm worked its way around her shoulders, and she looked up at him, trying to read his face, trying to figure out if he knew how much he was getting at her. she managed to stop breathing altogether as his lips touched her forehead, and she looked away quickly, just staring in front of her, barely even aware that she was being steered out of the store. another thing about ellie was that she hardly ever even thought about what she was doing when she was around cal. a hand crept up and -- after hesitating slightly -- wound her fingers through cal’s.

“where .. um .. where are we going?” she asked, chewing her lip, loving, loving, loving that she was with cal, despite being so beyond confused she wasn’t sure of anything.

TAGGED: callum theodore rice<3
WORDS: one thousand, three hundred & forty eight.
LYRICS: hot mess by ashley tisdale, wtf.
BANNER: sparkly freakout @ caution.
TEMPLATE: ooooh me. [:
NOTES: it's not amazing but it's done >_<

[callum theodore rice]

-----------------------------------------------
shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

[/size]
darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
-----------------------------------------------------------

there was something almost electric about this situation. strangely and vaguely eletric. not just because of the fact that he had just simply bought her a dress--not only an expensive one, but one she wanted--and was now walking out of a store with her under his arm. but because of the actual contact. that contact being physical. that he was touching her agian, when he thought he'd finally be rid of her. yes, callum theodore rice did get that feeling from other people. he didn't simply give it, don't be silly. from time to time, with the right touch and the right person, callum too got that feeling. he got that shock from skin to skin contact. that current that ran from the tips of the hairs on his arm through his veins and through the rest of his body. he felt excited, anxious, alive. he'd like to think he always felt at least... two of those things. excitement... the feeling of being alive. but in all honesty, only one person could do that for him. though he hated to admit it. only one person set him just a tad on edge. if ever there were an edge for callum rice... elliot jordan casey would be the one who pushed him towards it. given, callum was so far away from the edge, and let's face it, ellie was no body builder. so the chances that he'd ever get close enough that he'd fall off were slim to none, especially since he planned on limiting his visits with elliot. callum could not and would not be pushed to his breaking point, no matter what it took. the boy was as stubborn as a mule, with no intent of changing his mind. as displayed by his determined drive to buy that damned dress, followed by his equally damned point blank statement: he was buying her new clothes.

but we won't dismiss how utterly self-satisfying these signs of possession were for him. how completely delicious it felt to display his ownership over elliot. yes, that sounded terrible. yes, that sounded like a slavetrade gone wrong. but it wasn't like that for him. and he assumed any other boy. of course, cal wasn't exactly every other boy, or anything like them for that matter, but he figured he had a clue. a small one, but a clue nonetheless. this sense of posession was a good thing. she was his and no one else could have her. she was his and he could look at her all he wanted, but no other boy or even girl had better even think about looking at her in any suggestive manner, unless they wanted his fist in thier face. no other boy could speak her name like he did, with hopes of seeing the next day. no other boy had better have a single thought about her, pure or unpure, that they wouldn't want cal to know about if he suddenly developed the ability to read minds. it was displayed in the way he'd helped her up when they had first collided. in the way he immediately changed the conversation on her, told her he was getting the dress. the way he definitely bought that dress like a lollipop on display in the candy store. it was displayed in the way he watched for her from the counter, walked to her without moving his eyes off her. the way he carried her dress, the way he wrapped his arm around her. the way he now held her fingers, like mini-hooks holding them together.

again she spoke and he noted the extra spark that ran from the tiniest of hairs on his earlobes to his toes. my god, her voice. it was like he'd heard it for the first time. new ears and everything. why the heck was he noticing these things now? of course, being cal, it didn't take much to mentally shake his head and get back in the game. to brush it all off and be the nonchalant, asshole of an ex-boyfriend slash babydaddy that he was. it amused him way too much that he could make her shut up with a few choice words. though he didn't necessarily want her to shut up. in fact, he loved the sound of her voice... duh. but he loved being able to control her so fucking much better. he told her he needed to buy her clothes, that she shouldn't have a problem with that and... that was that. no and's, if's or but's about it. no need to complain. he'd won that one. sure it wasn't quite fair or square but... who needed all that jazz when you were callum theodore rice?

“where .. um .. where are we going?

[/color]”

callum smirked, half expecting that question and half expecting her to stay silent. well... more three quarters and one quarter, leaning more towards her speaking up. he thought a moment, and drapped the dress over his shoulder, his now free hand fishing around in his leather jacket--despite the heat-- "i told you i was going to find you somewhere to wear this dress," callum paused, finally fishing out a pair of--yes, men's christian dior zeroonezeroseven s, set at about two hundred and thirty dollars--sunglasses, flicked them open and put them on, before finishing off with three syllables: "didn't i?" he flashed her a brilliant grin--a bit more cocky this time, but he figured it's affect on her would be equally as amusing for him--and returned his attention to the path in front of them, switching the bagged dress back from it's position over his shoulder to draped over his forearm. by now, they had finally left mr. bilzerian and the dinosaur woman behind and rounded the corner. and if you thought callum was completley alive by the feeling being in that shop with her elicited was intense and a little out there for him, then you couldn't imagine the flow of endorphins through his system at this exact moment. his fingers tugged lightly on the ones they held and he tighted his arms grip around her shoulders ever so slightly. i pray good fortune upon any soul he saw looking at her in any sort of suggestive manner at this point. this... was the point of no return.

they rounded another corner and callum, despite how much he didn't want to, let go of his hold on her to fish his keys from his jeans pocket--amazingly enough, no, they weren't too tight to easily fish a set of keys from. with the press of a button, a high pitched, electronic beep hit the air, coming from the... yes... two thousand nine black lamborghini gallardo--price range: you don't wanna know--sitting before them. and like the complete and utter gentlemen he was--only for ellie--callum opened the passanger side door, motioning for her to--"get in, elliot.[/color]
[/blockquote][/size]-----------------------------------------------
[/center]

tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one one five eight
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes FUCK. EW. OMG. if you don't read this before i get up i am so changing the ending. D<

[/size][/font]

[elliot jordan casey.]

I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU

[/size]
CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center]

her heart felt as though it were about to jump out of her chest. it was out of sync with the rest of her; on the outside, she could only hope that she looked calm and composed, hope that it wasn’t too obvious what cal was doing to her, but inwardly, her head was spinning and her mind was reeling and screaming incoherent sentences at her, asking her why she was just letting him do this, why she was being submissive, why she was just standing back and letting cal take charge of her again. she always let the more dominant people take charge, always sat back and just let them tell her what she should do, and she always did what they said, because she always had; that was just how elliot jordan casey was. she hardly ever did the things she wanted to do; it was always for someone else. and she was fine with that. sometimes she did things that weren’t beneficial to her, but would be to george, and that was the incentive to keep doing it. if she could do anything for george in any way, shape, or form, she would, no questions asked, no hesitation, with barely even any thought behind it. she should complain that he was taking her shopping, should tell him that she had somewhere to be; her mother was taking her to her grandma’s, she had to go and see her sister and nephews, she had a science project to do .. anything that would get her out of it, anything that would stop him from taking her to another store and spending far too much money on her on things she probably wouldn’t even wear for fear of ruining them. apart from anything else, the fact that he wanted to waste his money on her confused her. why did he want to spend his money on her? there were plenty of people in boston besides her; why was she so special? why was she more worthy of callum’s attention than anyone else? was it because of george? perhaps; perhaps not. but if it wasn’t, what was it?

she breathed in shakily, keeping a tight hold on his fingers, loving that she was so close to him, loving that he was protective and possessive and keeping her close to him, loving that he hadn’t pulled his hand away and looked at her oddly like she’d expected him to. she didn’t even know why she’d laced her fingers with his, didn’t know why she wanted to be close to him and wanted to stay close to him as long as she could. he affected her so much that she wasn’t sure what she was doing, made her so dizzy and so lost that she did everything on autopilot. you’d only have to suggest it before ellie went off and did it. she didn’t even think. she just listened, and did. that was it. that was how it had always been, though usually she had some thought process. she was usually able to talk without stuttering and saying ‘um’ every five words or so. it was cal; she knew it was. he threw her off balance. he made her unable to think or speak, and so instead, she just did. he could tell her to leave him alone and never speak to him again if he wanted to, and she would. she’d hate it, hate that she’d have to ignore him and that he’d ignore her and that there wouldn’t be anything she could do to get him back, but she’d do it. she bit at her lip and stared straight ahead, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, trying her hardest not to trip up, and not to make a fool out of herself, though she knew the longer she put it off, the worse it would get when it finally happened. she tightened her grip slightly, not a lot, maybe not even so much that he noticed it. she didn’t want to let go, at all. didn’t want him to pull away, didn’t want him to stop holding her, just wanted to stay near him.

she flicked her gaze up at him after she’d asked the question, wondering whether she had actually asked because she was curious or because she wanted him to talk to her. she loved him talking to her, only because they hardly ever talked. it was always knee-weakening glances and heart-stopping smirks, touches that made her go dizzy and afraid that she’d pass out any second. when they talked these days, it wasn’t about things that had happened to them as individuals; it was usually always about george. how he was, what he was doing, whether he was talking yet -- though callum never asked after that particular aspect; ellie threw it into conversation whenever things got awkward -- whether she’d got her money. there was usually some snide comment aimed towards her father thrown in too, and ellie knew that everything he said about mr. casey was right, every snide remark had some grain of truth in them. yes, mr. casey was an asshole, yes he was a douche, but ellie couldn’t admit that out loud; she was loyal to her family to a t -- she’d defend them as much as she could. or, at least, attempt to without even meaning any of it. she loved her dad, of course she did; before all this she’d been the typical daddy’s girl, but she hated that he’d changed towards her, hated that now she wasn’t innocent anymore, he refused to treat her the same way. now she’d made him a grandfather, he didn’t want anything to do with her, or george. ‘too much of that damned rice bastard in his face,’ he’d said. ‘keep the kid out of my sight.’ the fact that he didn’t even want to know his own grandson hurt ellie, and she knew george looked like cal, but that didn’t seem like a valid reason not to see him. her dad pissed her off sometimes.

"i told you i was going to find you somewhere to wear this dress, didn't i?"

ellie looked back up at him, staring at her reflection in his -- absurdly expensive -- sunglasses, watching her eyes widen at the grin, and tripped slightly, not concentrating on where she was going. she tightened her grip on his hand almost instantly, trying to stop herself from falling -- in the literal sense; she’d already fallen hard for callum. he couldn’t do that to her; it wasn’t fair. he couldn’t just make her look at him, then grin at her like that. ellie wasn’t subtle; it wasn’t like she kept how much he affected her to herself, even though she tried her hardest. her heart managed to speed up even more as she realised that his grip had tightened, that she was closer to him that she had been a few moments ago. she kept her almost too tight hold on his hand, chewing at her lip and staring back down at her feet, feeling her face burn. she wasn’t even going to argue with him anymore; she knew she’d lost and whatever she said would have no effect on him whatsoever. he wouldn’t take the dress back, and he honestly would find her a place to wear the dress. she knew he would.

she loosened her grip slightly as she felt him pulling away, letting her arm drop back down to her side and pulling at the hem of her shirt awkwardly. she didn’t know why she was agreeing to this. she blinked and looked up as she heard the beep of a car’s security system being unlocked, and just stared at the sleek, shiny black .. car didn’t seem like a word to describe it. but that’s what it was. a car. a lambourghini. ellie hadn’t even seen one up close before, never mind know someone who had one. she watched callum walk up to the door, and just stared and blinked at him. get in? as in .. get in the car? ellie couldn’t get in that; she didn’t know why, but she just couldn’t. she’d think of a reason eventually. her eyes flickered between the car and callum, silently questioning him. after a few moments, she shuffled forward and just peered at the car, looking up at cal. “you didn’t answer me properly.”

TAGGED: callum theodore rice<3
WORDS: one thousand, four hundred & eleven.
LYRICS: hot mess by ashley tisdale, wtf.
BANNER: sparkly freakout @ caution.
TEMPLATE: ooooh me. [:
NOTES: EW. FUCK. sgajglksdjg.

[callum theodore rice]

-----------------------------------------------
shadows all around you as you surface from the dark, emerging from the gentle grip of
NIGHT'S UNFOLDING ARMS. DARKNESS

[/size]
darkness every where, do you feel all alone? the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
-----------------------------------------------------------

i wish i could honestly say that this weren't true but it was, callum liked stuff. and not just stuff, expensive stuff. stuff that not many other people could buy. stuff that made other peoples stuff look like junk. he liked shiny. he liked new. he liked ridiculously embellished. he liked the lastest, the greatest. anything that he could say he spent half of his father's yearly salary on, he loved. things, stuff, money. the lot of it. it probably came from his first year or so with pierre and ted. it was no secret that cal's father had been poor, and as a result, callum, but not only did he not have much money--and spend what he did have on booze and cigarettes--but he abused callum. yeah. we all know this? a few beatings here and there. trapping him, holding him down and putting his cigarettes out on the boys back? yes. that was what callum went through as a child. hence the ridiculously large tattoo on his back of some random italian phrase he'd heard in yet another random italian restaraunt whilst drunk. he'd asked his dad's for a tattoo of it, and they got it for him. only because they figured that he was doing it to cover up the scars. and... they spoiled him. as soon as they knew all that had happened to the boy they went out of thier way to make his life like paradise. and that would be the first place they went wrong. cal adored being babied, being pampered, being dressed in the morning, being pleaded with to stop crying, being showered with gifts, being read books at four in the morning cause he couldn't sleep. yeah, he was spoiled. and therefore callum took a liking to 'stuff' in an early stage.

and christ did he love it.

he loved expensive stores, knowing that what he was wearing was the finest in the country, even if he only wore it once or twice given the kids at his school could be complete assholes. hell, he even wanted to go to paris or london some day. shop there. pay a fortune doing it. but that was just fashion, and we know callum's obsession over clothing and designs. yes? we know his dream to go to an arts school and study fashion. right. well, his obsession obviously extends further than that. his car? yes, we've already discussed this. a brand new black lamborghini gallardo, his father bought for him for his birthday in may. his sunglasses, two hundred dollars? absolutely ridiculous for you and i. however, you and i are typical. whereas callum finds himself to be far from typical. his phone, a sony ericson black diamond, came in at around three hundred thousand dollars. however, that one was a gift from a friend of his fathers. theodore did a winning advertising campaign for thier newest phone, the black diamond, and therefore supplied everyone in thier family with one. pierre, theodore and callum all sported the riduclously priced, completely pointless and yet beautifully crafted device. his scarves, jackets and shoes were often shipped in from london. those he could get away with wearing without looking like a complete douche. but his t-shirts, jeans, hats and regular glasses had to be purchased at the local shops. of course, even then, callum found himself shopping in the most expensive of shops. anything he could do to have to pay well over the normal amount for something he would. cause he could. cause he liked it. and because the more expensive, he assumed, then the better the quality. right?

he'd had used his money on elliot when they had been 'together' for that short period of time, of course. callum couldn't resist the oppurtunity to purchase something. but he'd honestly really only bought her simple things. the expected dinner outs, movie tickets, sweets at the store, food, some clothing, the occasional piece of jewelry... he hadn't even been good enough to her to get her something on valentine's day. but she didn't complain. she never did. and as long as she wasn't saying it he didn't quite mind what she was thinking. she'd never leave him as a result so he felt as thought he'd had nothing to worry about. he was assured her presence. not to mention he didn't quite think much about what would happen if she did leave... but that was beside the point. the point was, if he could--and trust me he could--then he would--trust me he would--buy her anything and everythin her heart desired. and he was dead serious when he said he'd buy her clothing. he was. because he loved nice things. especially how they looked. and after seeing elliot in that dress he... he couldnt' help but imagine what she might look like if she dressed like that all the time. ok, so he wouldn't go all out and make her wear shit from ... alan bilzerian or anything, though he might purchase her one or two items, but he would dress her. he would try. he'd get her expensive stuff. his inner designer would adore that. hell, he'd even buy her stuff and keep it at his house if he had to. because he knew her asshole of a father wouldn't allow him to buy her anything. even if it was just to be nice. even if it was a present.

he honestly believed with every fiber of his being that she would get right on into the car. all right, she might hesitate a little. but he was quite certain that she would get into that car. no problem. no objections. and when he wasn't being proven correct he found something of a lop-sided smile pull at the corner of his lips. she stood there, looking a bit uneasy, eyes moving between the car and him and he wanted to laugh. just that little bit of defiance was a... well, we won't discuss that. >_> “you didn’t answer me properly.

[/color]” he watched her a moment, his head angled slightly to the side, his hand still resting on the top of the door's frame. this was a tad new. not entirely. but still a bit. and it entertained him. as well as was... ok, yeah, a bit of a turn on. what can i say? the boy was run by what was in his pants. no lies. he looked away off down the street then down, letting his hand slide off the door and letting the smile on his face break out into a full-fledged grin. "ellie,[/color]" he voice grew substantially softer, but he was conscious to make it loud enough to be audible over the roar of the traffic. he stepped towards her and looked up, "i said i'd find you somewhere to where that dress...[/color]" again his voice softened a tad, as he was closer now, and he continued forward, knowing full well what he was doing. he knew how to work this, how to work her, by now. he lifted a hand and, now standing directly in front of her, rested it on the side of her neck--just below her ear--and leaned forward his lips growing close to hers, "so i'm gonna take you there.[/color]" as it seemed he was about to kiss her, he changed directions and planted a soft kiss on her jawline, his lips curling upward once more into a smirk. "...ok?[/color]"
[/blockquote][/size]-----------------------------------------------
[/center]

tagged miss elliot jordan casey <3333
words one two four eight >_<
lyrics you are the moon - the hush sound.
banner danii @ caution.
template FASHION STATEMENT SUICIDE of CAUTION 2.0.
notes ok...maybe it isn't as good as i thought. -_-

[/size][/font]